“As soon as I tried it, I knew I was addicted.”
This is what people always say about trying crack for the first time. Not so much about other drugs, or anything in life that is marginally enjoyable but also accessible… only those select mortal pleasures that bring you intense and immediate pleasure but force you to submit control over your mental stability and security over your finances for the rest of your life.
This exact phrase is what I said the first time I tried Estee Lauder’s Sumptuous Extreme mascara. My pure, unadulterated elation was punctured immediately with blind anger at my mother- she’s the one who handed it to me and watched, wide-eyed, while I ran the magic wand gingerly and thoughtlessly along my lashes. She knew exactly what she was doing. From that moment on, regardless of my monthly income, I am tethered to shelling out $30 for that damn tube. I’ve given up plenty of things as the thickness of my wallet casually wanes… pay-what-you-wish yoga, doing laundry, eating anything other than eggs and lentils… yet i have never once allowed any other noir paste to grace the tubular surface of these lashes. and while i realize that perhaps no one comes close enough to notice if my untoned, unwashed, complex-protein-filled self has fabulous lashes or not, i know. i. fucking. know. and that is all that matters.
try it. once. for the rest of your life.
(don’t say i didn’t warn you.)