brooklyn, i’m trying… to find a romper with an easy escape route.

IMG_9190there’s nothing better for summer than a romper. your one-piece solution to all of summer’s social requirements.

let’s face it- summer means that beer consumption increases, inhibitions decrease, often bathroom accommodations deteriorate if not disappear completely (the alleyway seems much more approachable when not risking frostbite). overall, the desire and speed at which you would like to remove clothing is heightened as the temperature rises. this does not mean that you should shy away from the pure joy of romping the day away. what it does mean is you need to find one with an easy escape route. see below for my helpful search tips for how to select a fashionable- and reliable- pick this season.

1. demand a defined waist- this is important obviously so you don’t look like you’re wearing a potato sack, but also because if it doesn’t have a sufficiently defined waist, you may be tempted to add a belt. this is bad. adding another piece to a one piece equals exactly too many pieces to juggle while you’re hovering over a toilet in a port-a-potty at a music festival. elastic is great, drawstrings are better, or that perfectly tailored suit with a side zip will do. here are my favorites-

cinched waist, plus pull-on pull-off style makes this romp a walk in the park.

business in the front, party in the back. and party in the bottom. and on the top too. and now we made the front-business party-business too so- act accordingly.

2. search for removable or otherwise shruggable straps- perhaps the easiest way to get in and out of a romper built accordingly- simply be slightly dismissive, or appear that way- and with a slight shrug, you’re ready for your escape, baby.

two-toned draped jumpsuit- great for outdoor events or nights in the city. the halter-style neck ties and low-cut arms makes this jumpsuit just daring enough.

added lace makes this one extra fancy, and the clasp in the back means you won’t get too antsy and pee your pantsies.

3. the side swipe- ONLY to be used with shorts rompers.(don’t act like you don’t know what i mean- you do know what i mean. if you don’t, click the links below and imagine how you would go about using the restroom in a desperate situation while wearing one of these)

you will need an extra pair of hands here to assist you in the unzipping process. and not that they will be hard to find, just plan accordingly. if it is an emergency… well… see option number 3.

this style is not for the weak at heart- but then, i know you better than that. sure it has a low back but it also boasts a few buttons and a zipper. there’s no getting out of this puppy easily but damn i like your style.

4. give up and just go- simply plan to not drink any liquids all day and only take off your romp when you’ve committed to nudity for a worthy romp. these may make removal difficult, but they’re worth it. and you are worth it. baby.

i love that this looks like a handkerchief. i love the bold-yet-flattering hem. i love that it would be way too hard to remove properly but oh-so-tempting to onlookers. instruction manual: not included.

don’t drink liquids for two main reasons here- the unbelievably sexy silhouette, and obviously this has absolutely no easy escape route. but once you’re out- just stay that way.

romp. on.

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