THURSDAY

Aphrodisiac Indulgence at Brooklyn Oenology, williamsburg.

if you didn’t bring it here, you can likely find it here. love, that is. by way of shamelessly ingesting aphrodisiacs. sure, it’s about compatibility but it’s also about the science and tried-and-true practice of the ancient god of Dionysus- and trust me, he rarely slept alone. let’s not reinvent the wheel here, folks. just open your mouth and your heart. $40 gets you a light dissertation on the science behind these puppies by Slow Food NYC, plus a flight of 4 tastings of sparkling wine and a dozen oysters. 209 wythe ave, 7pm. tickets, here. down the hatch baby.

Threes Brewing 1 Year Anniversary Party, boerum hill.

there is nothing better than the recent and constant influx of new american breweries popping up. especially in urban areas. brooklyn has plenty of fine ones to boast but head over to threes brewing to celebrate their one year anniversary. arrive early to taste some upcoming releases, stay for the favorites. and pay nothing all night. 333 douglass st, 5-10pm let’s all leave work early, eh? two’s a company, threes a motherfucking brewery. let’s go.

i heart vinyl at the panther room, williamsburg.

FRIDAY

Night at the Museum, PS1, long island city.

it’s just like summer warm-up, just inside. and in the winter. but that still means it’s doper than anything else you’ll find happening friday night (unless of course you only consult brooklyn im trying for your weekend plans). exhilarting exhibits, interactive installations, Quebecois-inflected cuisine (yep, that’s exactly what it sounds like), liberating libations, a huge dome set up outside will feature multiple djs all night. plus the entire museum will be open to wandering and imagining you’re on the set of night at the museum from the mixed up files of mrs. basil e frankweiler. $12 in advance, party 8-midnight. it might be sold out already.

Free Nacho Fridays at the diamond, greenpoint.

or for a cheaper and equally inspirational experience, head to free nacho first fridays at the diamond, sponsored by el jefe’s nachoria! 4 varieties every friday- which means that’s just enough hands to eat all of them at once with your significant other. or, yourself at super-human speed. 43 franklin st, 730-11pm.  get some.

Lunar New Year at good room- my favorite place to do bad things

anytime there’s no cover at good room. GO. this time it’s a celebration one year in the making, a chance to abscond all of those mindless resolutions you made two months ago and choose all new ones, with the moon as your guide. all of your favorite lunar characters will be making an appearance on the dance floor (i’m not kidding), plus immersive decor, world-class djs spinning all night, free beer until midnight, and no cover with rsvp. if you can come up with one good excuse not to go to this, i will be immensely impressed. and sad for you. while i drink my free tiger beer and dance with a bunch of humans sharing one massive tiger costume. RSVP right here, right now. 98 meserole st, 10pm-4am. let’s all start fresh.

YEAH! an indie dance party at The Grand Victory, williamsburg.

Wilco (will love you baby) at the Kings Theatre, flatbush.

City of God screening at Videology, williamsburg.

if you’d prefer to chill and watch a movie friday, still get out of your house  by seeing what has been deemed the best foreign film of our time. City of God screening at videology. check out the trailer but really you should just go. this film will move you. and you will be moving, not scrolling through your netflix feed. 7-930, free. 308 bedford ave. get enlightened.

SATURDAY

Drunk Ted Talks: Drunk in Love, williamsburg.

inspiring, informative, entertaining, inebriating! it’s drunk TED talks, and this week it’s tackling the issue of that ish that’s bombarding us in shop windows and taxi cab ads and annoying couples blocking our passage of the sidewalk. the L word. check it out at littlefield in williamsburg, 622 degraw st, 6-9pm. guaranteed to be more worth your time than that swiping habit…

Glamdammit- a david bowie odyssey at the grand victory, williamsburg.

Greenpointer’s Valentine’s Market, greenpoint.

you know exactly what’s going on here- greenpointers are once again saving all of our asses by providing a unique space to scour for unique, heartfelt gifts for your lover, and enjoy doing it. with a long list of all your favorite local artisans, crafts to get your hands dirty, plus music, food, drinks, happiness, and perhaps more than a few restless hearts looking for some warmth this time of year. plus hangover cures! i mean if you’re still reading this i can basically say whatever i want here. just go to the goddamn market, ok? go there. get me something you think i’d like. i’ll willingly give you my address, or meet you atop the empire state building at midnight. word? word. here exists all of the actual relevant information on the event. 1-7pm, 67 west st. you scalawags.

where to eat this weekend

el born, greenpoint. (brunch details above!)

basically i’m suggesting you eat all of your non-superbowl meals here this weekend. in addition to brunch, they also have amazing tapas, paella nights on wednesdays, TWO FOR ONE gin and tonics on thursdays, live flamenco guitar on sundays… and MAHOU on tap. every fucking day of the week. 651 manhattan ave.

where to drink this weekend

 No.7 North

maybe i’m a bit privvy to this place for doing such a good job at keeping me warm during the snowpocolypse, or maybe it’s because it’s one of the raddest spots on manhattan ave. just on the edge of Greepo proper and NoGreePo, it absolutely teems with neighborhood appeal. no frills decor, bartenders and libations served straight-up, and a take-it-or-leave-it attitude that will have you taking it every single time.  check out the ish they’re doing with brooklyn brewery for the super bowl sunday, and also find any excuse, to go any time, all the time. 931 manhattan ave.

reason to cross the river this weekend

the end of the picasso sculpture exhibit at the MOMA.

it really sucks if you haven’t been yet, because this exhibit is amazing. and it’s going to be packed this weekend. go anyway- it’s the largest collection of picasso’s sculptures in one place, ever (don’t hold me to that, ok?) and his sculptures are just as charming, fractured, and impressionable as his paintings.

let’s face it– no one really has time to spend 2+ hours in a movie theater. but now that the “experts” have spoken, we can sacrifice that time with a little more confidence. dodge the cold (and snow!) this weekend and check out some of new york’s most unique and iconic theaters to get a head start on your oscar ballot.

Nitehawk Cinema, williamsburg.
the way williamsburg does a cinema- small theaters, amazing food, and rotating movie-themed cocktail list.
136 metropolitan ave. www.nitehawkcinema.com

BAM Rose Theater, cobble hill.
nestled into the iconic Brooklyn Academy of Music, theaters offer carnegie-hall like acoustics and both blockbuster and independent films.
30 lafayette ave, www.bam.org

Lincoln Plaza, upper west side.
subterranean art house theater across from lincoln center showing mostly independent films on small screens. under the ground.
1886 broadway, http://www.lincolnplazacinema.com/

Anjelika Film Center, soho.
iconic independent film theater located in soho- sound enhanced by real new york subway rumblings! (trust me, you’ll find it charming.)
18 west houston, www.anjelikafilmcenter.com

Pavilion Theater, park slope
this big-screen digital cinema blends seamlessly into its charming neighborhood.
188 prospect park west, www.paviliontheater.com/

if you prefer to rent, try Film Noir in greenpoint for an extensive collection of independent, foreign, noir, and blockbuster films- plus an incredibly knowledgeable owner. take owner’s pick if you’re having trouble deciding- he’s never let me down.
10 Bedford ave. no website, just walk through the door the old-fashioned way.

THURSDAY
Museum of Food and Drink features Combat Rations and You, williamsburg
this new museum is the only of it’s kind in new york, allowing guests to taste their way through exhibits. located in the heart of boutique eateries and the farm-to-table movement, prepare to have your mind and tastebuds blown away. thursday’s event explores military food throughout history, and its impact on the everyday “rations” available to us today.
62 bayard st, 630-8pm, $15. eat up!
in addition, check out current exhibition flavor- making it and faking it, on show through 2/28

an evening of Expanded Cinema, nitehawk theater, williamsburg.
take a trip on over to the nitehawk cinema and let go while your mind explores the boundless nature of sight, color, sound, and movement. what you do before arrival is up to you… just tune in, drop out, and explode into a psychadelic slipstream, $16, 136 metropolitan ave.

FRIDAY
Like a (Lady) Boss– happy hour shopping and networking event, williamsburg
head over to antoinette vintage for an evening of inspirational networking, aspirational vintage shopping, and completely impulsive flash tattooing. cocktails provided by real vodka, the only vodka for badass, career driven women. flash tattoos by tea leigh- $30-50, designs available on Facebook. 5-9pm, 119 grand st, get connected.

ROOTS Cafe Poetry Series, park slope
there is nothing better than the warmth of shared verse among neighbors, contemporaries, and strangers. come to roots cafe’s monthly poetry series and feel enlightened, rejuvenated, and inspired. seek, here. 639 fifth ave, 8-10pm.

Opening Reception and Adult Sleepover at Flux Factor, friends only, long island city.
i mean- no, that isn’t called an orgy. it’s called an adult sleepover at the opening of an art exhibit that celebrates all the wonder and enchantment of friendship. if you’re going to sully the whole idea then just don’t come. and be comfortable sitting at home with no one braiding your hair, giving you a makeover, trying to make you light as a feather and stiff as a board and burning pictures of select ex-lovers, watching the embers flutter into the night sky as your heart begins to feel light after what must have been months of burdensome torture.…come with me. friend. 39-31 29th Street, 7pm.

SATURDAY
Baseline, trestle gallery, gowanus.
for a disorienting experience without chemical influence (or with, if you prefer), check out the opening of baseline at trestle gallery in gowanus, a sculpture and installation exhibit combining found materials, mirrors, light and sound. on view saturdays through 2/15 at trestle gallery, 400 third ave, 1-6pm, free. get bent out of shape.

cacao ceremony! for the full moon, greenpoint.
we all know how well chocolate and moons go together- moonpies, freeze-dried spaceman ice-cream sandwiches, the shape of oreos after a bite, bare butts of all nationalities… so let’s celebrate this sacred bond and consecrate our bodies to the full moon with an ancient cacao guatemalan drink shared among dream seed and reverent community members. 97 green st, 7-10pm, $40. sounds sweet. and dark.

lord nelson and whale oil at the rock shop, park slope.
come hear some boys from the homeland (mine, that is) share their southern rock, folk, and soul sound at the rock shop in park slope. 249 fourth ave, 7pm, $7 and don’t forget-.va is for lovers.

mickey avalon with dirt nasty at knitting factory, williamsburg
i can’t deny that i fucking loved some of his songs back in 2007. has he done anything since then? well whatever. $20 will take you down memory lane with jane fonda  and so rich, so pretty and an additional $55 will give you a chance to meet the guy. i can only imagine what he’s like in person… doors at 8pm, show at 9. 361 metropolitan ave. tickets, here. because i know you want to do the jane fonda.

Donut Fest, verboten, greenpoint.
it’s here. donut fest. a hol(e)y celebration of new york’s most recent food obsession. featuring all your local purveyors, plus coffee pairings and plenty of hands to hold once the sugar high sets in. at verboten, 54 n 11th st, 11.30-5pm. it’s time to (eat) the donuts. together.

SUNDAY
Free Comedy at the knitting factory, williamsburg.
I like to laugh. and I’m willing to bet you do too. So let’s all get some, for free, at the knitting factory. Sunday night stand up has included guests like louis ck, aziz ansari, dave chapelle, sarah silverman, chris rock, among others. get your ass out of bed and feel better about your life, at least temporarily.
136 metropolitan ave, 5-11pm, free, in the front room. 9PM. HAHAHA.

Rock ‘n Shop Bazaar, bushwick
long live the free brooklyn bazaar-they can take our space, but they can’t take our freedom! enter
Rock n’ Shop at the paper box, an artist and maker market, featuring local food booths, drinks, and live music. open every saturday and sunday- 10am-7pm, band’s at 5pm, 17 meadow st. rock on.

where to eat this weekend– The Bounty, greenpoint.
i feel like every new yorker is constantly on the search for a better burger, and i thought i was abvoe it… now i can’t stop thinking about this goddamn burger, and it’s becoming a hindrance in my everyday functioning. go, but don’t say i didn’t warn you. i’ll be the creepy one salivating and twitching in the corner. 131 greenpoint ave. eat ’em up.

where to drink this weekend– Spritzenhaus, williamsburg.
I guess this is a gimme. This is the greatest beer garden this side of Germany and with over 100 beers on tap, free fireplace, artisan sausages, jenga games and the greatest bar tenders around. Ask for John. Ask him to play lcd soundsystem and bask in all the wonder that is the greatest place to get inebriated with friends. 33 nassau ave, GO.