…and then let me see if I can’t turn things around for them?

this quote of course is inscribed on that proud little lady in the right side of this photo I captured, but all the rest of the content is taken straight from the lady sitting behind her little laptop. or perched upon her bicycle, exploring the city in search of a better weekend for us all. I too have been called somewhat of a beacon of hope, a statuesque stronghold, the greatest gift france ever gave to america.

i will let you decide what, if any, of those things are true.

in the mean time, embark on a good honest weekend. i’ll be here, constantly vigilant.

AHOY, brooklyn. (ahoy.)

from the people who put the “pub” in public radio, who make the best IPA in this nation budding with hoppy competition, and the “lagunita” in the little lake of peepee you tend to make after having too much beer, lagunitas brewery comes to the brooklyn night bazaar thursday with a free event. why? because since the bazaar was moved out of its space, shows can only be free when (kind-hearted) sponsors who also sell dope shit come along to help out. unlike that other “sponsor” who did the opposite of helping out. so let’s all go and have beers and see self defense family, jesus piece, pawns, and glory. 7pm, all info here. 150 greenpoint ave at the night bazaar.

NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR STUPID SWATCH CLUB.

but i mean if it’s a party at good room, i’ll do what i have to do. come to this. i know nothing more about it, but it’s thursday and friday and well… i’ll be swatching our for you. 98 meserole ave. at good room – where you don’t have to be bad to get in but… nothing feels better.

this tainted love you give… it’s so, so much better than no love at all. let’s go move it and shake it at the bell house for 980s dance night, the cure for well… thursday nights with no love at all. event is free, 10pm until the love runs out. or the taints come out. either way, i ain’t gonna be caught with my pants down. info here. 149 7th st at the bell house – you rang?

two reasons to go to this show – 1. bob moses is dope as shit and his music toes that stunningly listenable line between r&b and electronic, soulful beats and laid with languid harmonies. 2. imma be there homey. and this chick too. tickets. here. show starts at … if for some reason you still ahve doubt, well nevermind then don’t go. but if you want to listen and get pumped up before the show here. at terminal 5- where every beginning feels like the end.

i don’t know about you, but i never want to do a power hour again. i mean really – there are so many more inventive ways to get fucked up than chugging shots of beers and ending up bloated and burpy and completely sauced at some frat party. we’ve all grown up and maybe, the concept of the power hour also has. (also, this isn’t to be confused with the hour of power… of course). party boys chris donahue and … compiled 1-minute shorts by 60 comedians for your viewing and drinking pleasure… and between each act you have to take a shot of beer. or you know, just laugh and sip. and be called a fucking weenie. tickets and info here, $5. show and beer drinking begin at 10pm. 10-93 jackson ave, at creek + cave.

OUTDOOR MOVIES AREN’T DEAD. they’re just chilled out a bit.

let this be a lesson, to all of us. just like spike lee and dave chappelle, and bill murray’s appearances, when you make something big of your life, come back and have unannounced amazing parties in brooklyn. dave chapelle did this in clinton hill, the area where he grew up, back in 2004 and invited tons of awesome pals. see the documentary film about the night and the man himself right in the ‘hood where it all went down (and sorry, but doesn’t it seem like this is just going to become another “random” block party?? YEP. i’m not missing it this time and neither should you.) here’s how not to miss it. 645-845pm, fort greene park, myrtle ave and st. edwards st.

Glass Animals at Music Hall of Williamsburg.

let’s commiserate right next door at one of my favorite spots in williamsburg, cubana social. 70 N 6th st. live music, killer mojitos, and some of the best empanadas in town. #glassanimalswho #jkstillfuckinghurts #bad

Richard Avedon, Moving Image, Exhibit at the Cadillac House, SoHo.

if you aren’t familiar with richard avedon’s unbelievable life’s work of stunning photography, then just trust me- you want to go to this exhibit. besides it’s your only reason to cross the river this weekend. avedon’s portraiture is unnerving and monumental. he would photograph celebrities for hours on end, having them sit or stand and vaguely pose until their exhaustion and annoyance took over and finally that moment where the humanity leaked through the facade and SNAP. there it would be. oh and also- he was easily the authority of fashion photography for his 60-year career. see some of his stuff here and then head QUICK to the final night of his exhibit at the cadillac house, 330 hudson st. 10am-7pm. info and such here.

What is it about adding a layer of education and full facts into your drinking habits that makes it all feel a bit more noble? “I toured three breweries in Richmond Virginia this weekend!” Is something you can totally tell your mom. “I got so completely shit housed on beers I can’t quite tell yiu what city I was in, I just know someone shuffled me to the bus station and put me on a greyhound due south and I’m calling you from a pay phone outside of ….” Simp,y is not. In the spirit of learning and helping to justify our inebriation, check out the NYC beer tour at Brooklyn kitchen this weekend. Learn all about beer history in our humble metropolis, plus how it’s made, tasting notes, and of course more about our budding and flourishing beer local beer culture. $40 tickets and more info here. 100 frost st.

Yep, this isn’t Múnich. but this city still celebrates Oktoberfest with the best of them, with plenty of beer gardens and large beers in boots and people who like to drink and German immigrants. Your best options in Brooklyn are:

Brouwerij Lane, Greenpoint.

celebrate Saturday at charming yet annoyingly named brouwerij lane in greenpoint. 12+ specialty brews. free sausages and pretzels and joy. German vinyl spinning all day. Leiderhausen very optional but you do you. Starts at noon. 78 greenpoint ave at Brouwerij Lane – you don’t have to say it, we know how you feel.

Yeah I know. This place looks a bit like a holiday inn dining area from the outside. But, the “hall” and backyard have been bringing Williamsburg a constant flow of pretty dope events since its inception. Saturday is no different- celebrate Oktoberfest with sausages and pretzels and booze and songs. oh and by the way p, the MP stands for Michael Psilakis so haters can try and hate, you know this food is amazing. Party goes from 6pm on into the night. tickets, $15-35 all info here. 470 driggs ave.

Liima at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

Ghostbusters Screening and Mallow Roast, Videology, Williamsburg.

Ah yes, another thing we’re losing to the relentless grip of wintertime. the charming bulletin market in that space on driggs and north 7th. live music, chic artisanal things, food trucks, dranks, hammocks, oversized soccer pool. yeah. so let’s spend most of the weekend there, and go down with a ship. 510 driggs. love you so much, i’d take a bullet(in) for you man.

Pier 6, Brooklyn Bridge Park.

 

World Maker Faire in Flushing.

 

SUNDAY

The Last Tiki Disco, in Bushwick.

 

Mister Sunday Still Lives on in Ridgewood, Queens.

Oktoberfest also Lives On at The Habitat, Greenpoint.