Hey Brooklyn. Maybe you’re not feeling so keen on our country right now. Perhaps celebrating American things just doesn’t feel appropriate at the moment. What we can do is appreciate living in a city that is progressive and like-minded, that will always vote towards inclusion, towards respect, towards using those bodies of ours to do good and feel good. Cast your vote towards that this weekend and let’s all come together and paint the town red, or white, or blue, or whatever color fits you.

It’s your Memorial Day Weekend and no one can tell you how to spend it. I’m just here to guide you, baby. Let’s get to it.

Happy Hour to Celebrate the Aperol at The Springs in Greenpoint

In case you missed it, the NY Times decided to grab onto the coattails of the mass popularity of the Aperol Spritz by publishing this sensationalized piece that basically encouraged people to have more elevated taste when imbibing and to not be distracted by media blitzes or bright, pretty colors. Let’s just admit that the cocktail was made to be distracting and that we would all always choose Moet over cheap prosecco any day, however there is a time and a place for a Spritz. Just as there is a time and a place for a local microbrew and a Tecate, alike. And tonight, there will be a time and a place for you to indulge in Summer’s most enjoyable cocktail and arguably the (beginning) of Spritz Season. Last week they hosted an official Rally for the drink, but go appreciate an Aperol Spritz, both in classic and frozen form, in their bright and welcoming backyard which perfectly matches the attractive cocktail. Anything else you need to know is here. 224 Franklin St.

BIG Salsa Fest NYC, city-wide

If the temperature rising has you dreaming of hot, sweaty nights dancing in clubs with strangers to live music and drum beats that you can tell make your hips tell all kinds of lies… but then you kind of realize you don’t really have any rhythm and usually dancing in this town means bopping emphatically along with whatever dj in a warehouse-like environment, change that this weekend. It’s the BIG New York Salsa Fest which will bring to the city some of the world’s best talent, which means it will bring to your feet and your hips the potential to make this sexy latin dream a reality. Come to live demonstrations and shows, hear the music, catch the vibe, feel alive, probably have a taco or two. The entire schedule is right here, kickoff Thursday night. 

Things to do in Brooklyn on Friday

Burgers, Bourbon, Beethoven Fest at Green-Wood Cemetery in Sunset Park

If you have spent much time on this blog, you know I love making fun of ridiculous fusion events. But this one reaches a level of absurdity yet undeniable enjoyability that I can’t really hate on it. Enjoy local sliders and vote on your favorite before indulging in a whiskey tasting while the Brooklyn Symphony plays Beethoven’s 5th in the midst of some of the city’s (and country’s) most famous dead artists and hustlers. Somehow it’s that perfect mash-up of mixed meat and mashed wheat, revived classics and still interred creators that is guaranteed to make you feel alive, and very, very well. Tickets for this event are $80 and going fast, available here. Meet at the Gothic Arches at 7pm. 

Roller Disco and Tiki Kiki Party at House of Yes in Bushwick

Whether you’re ready or not, the warm weather means that sequined go-go shorts season is in full swing. Break yours out in the comfort of Brooklyn’s most disco-fabulous and audaciously accepting crowd tonight at House of Yes. They’ll kick off the night by transforming the space into their monthly Roller Disco party (skates for rental, bring your own diva-attitude), before rolling right into their Tiki Kiki party with GlamCocks. So make sure your disco attire is hot and sparkling and jungle-fevered and your un-skated feet are ready to get groovy. Free with RSVP before 11pm. All info here. 2 Wyckoff Ave.

Things to do in Brooklyn on Saturday

Makossa Cookout Kickoff at Our Wicked Lady in Bushwick

Warm weather was made for rooftop parties and frozen drinks and cookouts and bad decisions that feel really fucking good; so good that you won’t look back, not once. To kick off the season, head to the opening Makossa Cookout at Our Wicked Lady this Friday. It’s will be everything you want it to be. Free before 4pm, then just $5. 2pm-10pm, plus after-party at Rose Gold beneath Cape House. Tickets and info here. 153 Morgan Ave.

North Brooklyn Boat Club Opening Party in Greenpoint

Ahoy mateys!! Do you sometimes get frustrated that we live on an island yet have painful limitations when it comes to experiencing the water around us? The North Brooklyn Boat Club is here to help. Come to the opening party this weekend and learn how you can have the freedom to canoe and kayak and scuba dive (one of those things is a lie…) in our beloved Newtown Creek and learn more about the amazing community here in North Greenpoint. There will be canoe tours with amazing city views, hot food, cold drinks, and plenty of sharing neighborhood gossip around the fire. It’s happening from noon-4pm. Info here. 49 Ash St.

718 Sessions Rooftop Dance Party at Elsewhere in Bushwick

Find yourself and everyone else you want to know at Elsewhere this Saturday, all day and all night. They’ll be collaborating wtih 718 Sessions for a rooftop AND 3-level party experience that will have you moving and grooving and dancing and romancing until 4am, or whoever long it takes you to find someone to get out of there with. Entry is $5 for the first 100 people in line before 3pm, but there are options for all levels of punctually-challenged people right here. See you there, or Elsewhere, 599 Johnson Ave.

Whiskey Wars Tour and Tasting in the Brooklyn Navy Yard

New York City’s oldest distillery and the first opened since prohibition hosts the Whiskey Wars craft tours, not a war at all but a tour highlighting the battles and scandals that occurred in our fledgling city during prohibition, and the drinkers and fights who persevered. Come hear anecdotes and sip some damn good spirits in Building 92, where all the magic happens. Tour is from 4:30-6:30pm, $20 tickets here. Don’t forget to stop by their amazing tasting room in the towers guarding the navy yard.

Music for the Masses Post-Punk New Wave Dance Party at St. Vitus in Greenpoint

I don’t know if you’ve heard but St. Vitus, everyone’s favorite metal bar that somehow you just can’t really find a reason to go to (other than you don’t like metal) has been throwing these Music for the Masses nights the last Saturday of every month, and really fucking killing it. It’s an 80s party that isn’t cheesy and will have you moving and grooving all night. Free with RSVP here and come to Le Fanfare before you go, let me make you a cocktail. Party starts at 11pm. 1120 Manhattan Ave.

Things to do in Brooklyn on Sunday

Baked Goods Against Bigotry at Archestratus in Greenpoint

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a sick fucking feeling in the pit of my uterus that permeates throughout my entire body ever since last week’s completely disruptive and disgusting decision regarding women’s control over our own bodies. There are so many ways we can and must fight back, and one of the sweetest options to do so is happening Sunday at Archestratus in Greenpoint. They’re organizing a Baked Goods Against Bigotry sale, in which all proceeds go towards the Yellowhammer Fund of Alabama. Go, buy and eat and fight back, or donate your own baked goods. All info here, 11am-2pm (drop off your goods as early as 8am).  160 Huron St.

Sunday Suppers at North Brooklyn Farms in Williamsburg

Farm-to-table is cool and trendy. But what about farm-to-fork? Leaf-to-lips? Tree-to-tongue? Whatever you’re into, get back to your local roots this Sunday at a long wooden table in the middle of a farm on the waterfront in North Brooklyn. Watch the sunset with 50(ish) soon-to-be friends as you appreciate just how amazing living in this borough can be. Let your senses be seduced with 4 courses from local chefs Emma Jane Gonzalez and Kenneth Monroe, with beer and wine included. Tickets, $100 include everything, get yours here now. It’s happening from 7 to 10pm. 320 Kent Ave.

Tiki Disco at the Well in Bushwick

Disco isn’t dead and neither are tiki parties or dancing ’til dawn on Sundays at really fucking amazing venues in Bushwick. Case in point, everyone’s favorite party group Tiki Disco and me and you at The Well. They kick off a summertime series that will move you and groove you so long and hard you’ll forget how to complain about the heat. Sunday’s party brings them back to The Well, so you should be there too. Tickets, $10 (such a deal) available here. 2-10pm at The Well- Be Like Timmy, Fall In The Well. 272 Meserole St.

Beats & BBQ Mid-Spring Fling at LP ‘n Harmony in Bushwick

Do you see a theme here? Cookouts and music and dancing and booze and love. This is what Memorial Day weekend and dreams are made of. So exacerbate your hot dog quota and let’s all get loose. This event is now in its twelfth year, which is way longer than most people make it in this town. Celebrate with them from 3pm to 10pm. Food is free with a drink purchase, dancing is free if you put your groove in it, love is free if you open your heart. (not sure I know what I’m saying anymore, but I get the feeling you get it). all info here, 683 Grand St.

Mister Sunday at Nowadays in Ridgewood

A summertime Brooklyn institution. This isn’t what non-brooklynites indulgently refer to as “Sunday Funday”. No no no. This is not for the weak-at-hearts who boast about their residual rosé headaches around the Keurig machine on Monday morning, proudly bouncing slightly on the low pile grey office carpet in their smart ballet flats. This is for you, Braveheart. Mister Sunday would like to tip his hat slightly and extend his hand to shake yours and then never ever let go. dig? resident DJ’s Justin Carter and Eamon Harkin will be spinning all day from 3-9pm and Nowadays stays open until midnight, Monday be damned! (well, actually, Monday be Memorial Day but whatever, you get it) tickets here. 56-06 Cooper Ave. Let’s make bad decisions and call them Sunday.

Things to do in Brooklyn on Memorial Day Monday

Remember that friend of yours with the backyard space and the grill? The one who always tells you, “Oh yeah, once it gets warm we’ll be grilling out all summer! Come over any time!” Hit that friend up. Hold their feet to the proverbial fire. Show up at their place with meats and beers and overall celebratory spirit. Feel young and wild and free. It’s how America intended it to be, and besides, it’s their responsibility for having an outdoor space and talking about it.

Or say Fuck It and organize your own cookout at the waterfront

Here’s how…  Buy USA bandanas at Cato’s Army & Navy in Greenpoint (654 Manhattan Ave) for your whole tribe. You need to look like a team out there, and who knows if these cookouts will be supplying napkins. And besides, beer drinking can be inhibited by sweat burning your eyes. Just trust me, get one. and then you can join my tribe. Buy meats at Meat Hook. All of the meats. And then charcoals and a styrofoam cooler from 711, who make the best styrofoam coolers in the biz. (sorry, deblasio!) Fill aforementioned cooler with Brooklyn summer ales and rose. Elect someone to supply the bluetooth speaker. Go early and procure a coveted grill and picnic table at brooklyn bridge park. Fire it up, slap ’em down, pop ’em open, turn it up, recite the pledge of allegiance, and celebrate how wonderful it is to live in this beautiful city and to have it finally feel like summer and to be with friends.

House of Yes Memorial Day Party in Bushwick

It’s not easy right now celebrating our American heritage, so instead do it in the best way we know how. By being together and celebrating the spirit we all share here, one of inclusivity and responsible … one that celebrates our bodies, our minds, our freedoms, and our ability to fucking fight against bigotry by knowing that we are so much stronger than all of this. House of Yes’s annual Memorial Day Party will bring you hot meat, dirty dancing, and delicious chillness; sunshine vibes on the inside, red-white-and-blue costumes on the outside, and a day and night full of feeling young, wild, and free. Tickets and info here. 3pm-midnight at 2 Wyckoff Ave.

Rockaway Beach Bazaar Memorial Day Party at Riis Park

The beaches open this weekend and that means your ass needs to be on the sunny shores and your toes in the sands and your body in the waters and your entire being rocking the day away in the Rockaways. Do it all at the New Myths Memorial Day DJ Party. It’s happening from noon-6pm and it’s free, just like you and me. Info here. 16702 Rockaway Beach Blvd.

 FRIDAY

Best Wedding Ever at House of Yes, Bushwick.

this is your best chance to make bad decisions this weekend. yeah, that’s right. i’m doing a new little bit here, hidden among the weekend guide features. along with your semi-weekly reason to cross the river , i’ll nominate your best chance to make bad decisions this weekend… and let’s just say this one takes the cake. (ZINNNG). it’s the semi-annual house of yes best wedding ever. what does that mean? bachelor and bachelorette activities. an actual wedding chapel and licensed officiant available. drunk uncles and crazy aunts. wedding cake. champagne toasts all motherfucking night. and honeymoon suites. go to this, and wake up and have a much bigger disaster on your hands than your leftover club stamps, missing debit card, and complete lack of dignity. 10pm-4am, free before 11pm with rsvp. 2 wyckoff ave at house of yes, where they never wait for a formal objection.

Dance Yrself Clean at Music Hall of Williamsburg.

Steady Sun Rooftop Party at Our Wicked Lady, Bushwick.

SATURDAY

Cooking with Bugs Class at Brooklyn FoodWorks, Bushwick. 

Onigiri and Miso Soup Class at Archestratus in Greenpoint.

Saturdaze Music Series Kick-Off at the Kings County Gatehouses in the Brooklyn Navy Yard.

of course you are quite familiar with this amazing drinking establishment that is the tasting room for the city’s oldest distillery. they’re kicking off a new music series this summer that brings together live music and djs, both potent and potable spirits, some of the city’s most sought after food trucks, plus all of the magic that comes along with drinking and eating and dancing outside in this spirited town. see the full schedule here and head out from 6-midnight. 299 sands st.

 

The 8th Annual Makossa Cookout at Our Wicked Lady in Bushwick.

Magical Grill BBQ Burlesque at The Possum Lounge in Sheepshead Bay.

SUNDAY

Mister Sunday kicks off at Nowadays in RIdgewood.

Sixpoint Sundown Sessions at Northern Terriroty in Greenpoint.

MONDAY

Summer of Love at the Park with House of Yes, Bushwick (ok so technically it’s ridgewood).

Beats and BBQ at LP ‘n Harmony in Bushwick. 

do you see a theme here? cookouts and music and dancing and booze and love. this is what memorial weekend and dreams are made of. so exacorbate your hot dog quota and let’s all get loose. this event, in it’s tenth year which is way longer than most people (although probably not most rats. those fuckers.) make it in this town. celebrate with them from 3pm to 10pm. food is free with a drink purchase, dancing is free if you put your groove in it, love is free if you open your heart. (not sure i know what i’m saying anymore). all info here, 683 grand st.

Host your own Memorial Day Cookout at the waterfront- here’s how!

<3L. 

it’s a holiday weekend folks. so let’s all hunker down and strategically plan our celebrations accordingly. this isn’t the rookie leagues anymore, this is the pros and it’s your time to shine. and to drink beers. and to eat hot dogs and to make comments about how good life is, audibly and just below this post, in the comments section.

read on, i promise you won’t be able to hold back.

THURSDAY

The Nude Party, Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

Ready Freddy’s? at Freddy’s Bar and Backroom, Park Slope.

30 insufferable minutes of mmmbob by multiple bands followed by Improv, Williamsburg

FRIDAY

King of Karaoke at Boulevard Tavern, Williamsburg.

Disco Dance Party at Good Room, Greenpoint.

SATURDAY

The Amazing Brooklyn Museum Scavenger Hunt, Prospect Heights.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL. Atletico de Madrid v. Real Madrid. Milan, Italy. 

banter bar, williamsburg.

berry park, williamsburg.

raizes, greenpoint.

keg and lantern, greenpoint.

LIC Food and Flea, Long Island City, Queens.

Lobster Joint’s 5th Birthday Bash, Greenpoint.

SUNDAY

Craft Beer and Hot Dog Showdown, Alphabet City, Manhattan.

i suppose i always thought hot dogs and beer were friends? maybe when they are small, fancy hot dogs and micro-craft brews their egos get in the way? anyway, they are having a showdown. and you can be a part of it, too. if you use your reason to cross the river this weekend– $40 gets you unlimited eating of “hot dog creations” plus two beers or ciders (that isn’t enough beers or ciders, fyi). free entry to the after party from 2-430, where there will be more food and beers and ciders, for purchase. 23rd & Ave C, noon-2pm. hotdiggitydog.

Spring Fling 98 at the Knitting Factory, Manhattan.

party like it’s 1998, and it’s prom, and you actually like your dress this time and you dont’ have braces and you aren’t sweating over losing your virginity later because that ship already sailed, you slut. (i think you’re awesome.) spring fling 98, it’s prom all over again with some sick 90s cover bands, much better dance moves, and all of the punch is spiked this time. 630 to midnight, 361 metropolitan ave. spring me, fling me. just as long as you bring me. .

MONDAY

*for now.

Host your own Memorial Day Cookout at the waterfront- here’s how!

buy america bandanas at Cato’s Army & Navy in Greenpoint (654 manhattan ave) for your whole tribe. you need to look like a team out there, and who knows if these cookouts will be supplying napkins. and beer drinking can be inhibited by sweat burning your eyes. just trust me, get one. and then you can join my tribe.

buy meats at meat hook. all of the meats. and charcoals. and a styrofoam cooler from 711, who make the best styrofoam coolers in the biz. (sorry, deblasio!) fill said cooler with brooklyn summer ales and rose.

elect someone to supply the bluetooth speaker.

go early and procure a covetedgrill and picnic table at brooklyn bridge park.

fire it up, slap ’em down, pop ’em open, turn it up, recite the pledge of allegiance, and celebrate how wonderful it is to live in this beautiful city and to have it finally feel like summer and to be with friends. drinking beers. on a monday.

Greenwood Cemetery Spring Concert, Sunset Park.

come to greenwood cemetery’s annual memorial day concert featuring the ISO symphonic band, deep subterranean harmonies by the ghosts and ghouls quartet of headstone, bring a blanket and a smile and a miniature american flag  and stick around for the special memorial day trolley tour after! $20, tickets and info here. 500 25th st, 230 5pm.

<3L.