ok folks let’s check in here. it’s august 18th- how many hot dogs have you had this summer? at what shade is your summer skin? do you know where your unborn children are? well not to panic here or anything but TIME IS RUNNING OUT. get out there and make some bad decisions and get a sunburn and smother yourself in mustard. and then rinse off in a chilled rosé shower. and then jump in the ocean, or hug a stranger or I DON’T KNOW ok? but i’m panicking. let’s all take a deep breath of this hot luscious august air and attack these last few weeks, together. with our sweaty palms squished tightly against each other.

come with me. and don’t you dare look back.

THURSDAY

Happy Hour at The Break Vintage, Bushwick.

REVEAL at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.

the warsaw is an old polish national house in greenpoint where you can see everything from monsters wrestling, community bingo night, and progressive musicians doing progressive things. thursday night will transform the cafeteria-event hall into an exhibit showcasing the best current and local artists in film, fashion, music, art, performance and everything else it says in that handy graphic above. there will be a runway show, a medley of live music, interactive visual art galleries and living hair and makeup statuettes on pedestals that will make you question hair, makeup, and humanity. go to this event and be amazed at the limitless nature of art and performance. tickets, $20 can be purchased here. hang up the hooligan garb you normally wear to the warsaw, it’s cocktail attire. so get fancy. 7-11pm, 261 driggs. info and tickets here. because nothing says raw like cocktail dresses and human statuettes.

Pizza Night at Archestratus Books, Greenpoint.

Olympics Viewing Party and Photography Exhibit, Brooklyn Museum, Prospect Heights. 

if you haven’t taken the opportunity to tune out all of this political bullshit and celebrate america and watch the olympics, there is hope for you not. and you are a curmudgeon. for everyone else, come watch the olympics in a rad sculpture garden and then be moved by the photography exhibit Who Shot Sports, a collection of prolific photos from the olympics, 1843-present. 8-10pm, free, 200 eastern parkway. info here.

FRIDAY

Out for Drinks with Orr Shtuhl at Archestratus, Greenpoint. 

i remember my first beer. and have a feeling that i will remember the one i have friday night, at archestratus, but i gotta be honest- i’ve forgotten a hell of a lot of the ones in between. make and share some memories at everyone’s favorite bookstore in NoGreePo. Orr Stuhl shares his love of beers, brewing, and the persistance of memory- and how alcohol inevitably affects it. $14 includes a beer, all info here, 7pm at archestratus books, 160 huron st. 

End of Summer Party, Bushwick Public House, Bushwick. 

it’s mid-august in brooklyn, not september in ibiza. there is absolutely no need to promote everything as if it’s the last weekend and we’re never going to see sunlight or bare knees again. however, that does not mean we should hesitate to celebrate sunlight and bare knees. and do so with all of our closest friends and a slew of impressive fucking djs (DJs Simon Sez, Ella Hu$$le, Reez, and Beazy Hype) at the bushwick public house, for free, on friday night. 1288 myrtle ave, the bushwick public house- they put the lick in public(k).

SATURDAY

LIC Block Party, Long Island City, Queens.

it’s so important that we support or neighbors to the north, and they make it mega easy with events like this. live music! interactive performances! arts and crafts to buy or make! artisanal foods! bespoke cocktails! hint: this is everything you like, and it’s for all ages! so you know… those friends of yours who you’ve shunned because they had babies can come. or keep shunning them. up to you. all info here, noon-5pm, purves st & 43 avenues. i’m going to this but between you and me, that street name gives me the willies.

Brooklyn Crab Festival at Mirrors, Williamsburg.

pinch me i must be dreaming! crabs in brooklyn? this photo says it all, but if you really need more of my words… well, that is rather shellfish. it’s crabs, and a good old fashioned cajun boil. there will be beers too. and other things to drink. here is a pulsd deal you should use and here is all the other info. 284 grand st at mirrors, where all your reflections are grand!

Bulletin Market Pop-Up, Williamsburg.

because all of our blacktops should be markets before they become something sad. be happy this weekend at the bulletin market in that sacred space on driggs, before its replaced by granite countertops and mundanity let’s not take it for granted. driggs and n. 8th st. check it out and rsvp here!

The Enchanted Realm of Rene Magritte, Governors Island.

because the only way to get inside his head seems to be to get outside your own, governor’s island brings us a uniquely immersive dive deep into the complex subconscious of rene magritte, surrealist visionary and artistic genius. or mad man. of which there is little difference, of course.  the exhibit runs through 25 sept but go now. $15 tickets and info here, at house 17, nolan park, governors island. one thing you won’t regret this weekend- magritte.

PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City.

This LIC summertime party institution also has a permanent residency on my weekend guide, from now through labor day. so i recommend checking the schedule and either choosing based on the tunes or your own availability (this is not a “oh i have a few hours, i’ll check it out” kind of affair. it will take all of your saturday and at least 3/4 of the mental space of your sunday. and it will all be worth it.) tickets here. i’m already heatin’ up.

oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.

Chances with Wolves at Threes Brewing, Gowanus. 

this is the greatest dj duo in brooklyn, spinning at my new favorite brooklyn brewery. you must go. and you must dance. because you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take, especially if wolves are involved. 333 douglass st. 2-8pm. at threes brewing- i’ll try anything thrice.

 or, here are your other sunday options…

<3L.