Brooklyn, I'm Trying

Trump, Keep Out: A Benefit for Planned Parenthood.

Liz Norment — Thu, 19 Jan 2017 03:08:56 +0000

for the glass ceiling that wasn’t broken, we find ourselves coming together, in a land that we realize now was more broken than we imagined. and although our hearts may still be aching, our spirits are lifting and our voices are rising to be heard. so let’s raise our glasses full of spirits and our voices full of hope to help mend this land, Thursday night at Broken Land. you know, that really great fucking bar on franklin st, in greenpoint.

sure they’re usually known for their frozen drinks, but thursday’s event aims to warm our hearts and ignite a fire under our asses that we won’t let burn out, especially for the next four years. Trump, Keep Out is part of an ongoing series of benefits for planned parenthood, where they gracious owner and bartenders will sacrifice what is always quite a profitable night in this drunk town and give 100% of the proceeds to this vitally important cause. and we all know that is reason enough for you to choose to go seek inebriation, retaliation, communication, and perhaps a new partner in fornication (come on, the best way to love your body is to let it get a little lovin‘) at such a locale on thursday night. they have provided some audacious incentives. prizes will be auctioned off from glasserie, shag sex shop, dandelion wine, beacons closet, and plenty of other neighborhood haunts where you choose that make your body feel wild and free and worthy. the charming elizabeth weitzen of shag playhouse and members of her oh-so-charming burlesque company will be making sure you don’t stop believing in the cause all night. there will be a dj dance party by LYLAS spinning all your favorite hip-hop, r&b, and 80s and 90s dance tunes to make sure those hips keep moving all night. oh and the drink specials won’t hurt. the event is free so come thirsty.

love your body. fight for your rights. go to this event.

broken land.
105 franklin st.
7pm-2am.

see you there.

<3L.

the weekend guide | 29-2 october 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 29 Sep 2016 20:27:14 +0000

Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

…and then let me see if I can’t turn things around for them?

this quote of course is inscribed on that proud little lady in the right side of this photo I captured, but all the rest of the content is taken straight from the lady sitting behind her little laptop. or perched upon her bicycle, exploring the city in search of a better weekend for us all. I too have been called somewhat of a beacon of hope, a statuesque stronghold, the greatest gift france ever gave to america.

i will let you decide what, if any, of those things are true.

in the mean time, embark on a good honest weekend. i’ll be here, constantly vigilant.

AHOY, brooklyn. (ahoy.)

THURSDAY

so if you haven’t been to the new bazaar then this image makes no sense to you but if you have well then… i’m sure we are well acquainted by now.

Lagunitas Brewing presents a dope free show at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, Greenpoint.

from the people who put the “pub” in public radio, who make the best IPA in this nation budding with hoppy competition, and the “lagunita” in the little lake of peepee you tend to make after having too much beer, lagunitas brewery comes to the brooklyn night bazaar thursday with a free event. why? because since the bazaar was moved out of its space, shows can only be free when (kind-hearted) sponsors who also sell dope shit come along to help out. unlike that other “sponsor” who did the opposite of helping out. so let’s all go and have beers and see self defense family, jesus piece, pawns, and glory. 7pm, all info here. 150 greenpoint ave at the night bazaar.

Swatch Party at Good Room, Greenpoint.

NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR STUPID SWATCH CLUB.

but i mean if it’s a party at good room, i’ll do what i have to do. come to this. i know nothing more about it, but it’s thursday and friday and well… i’ll be swatching our for you. 98 meserole ave. at good room – where you don’t have to be bad to get in but… nothing feels better.

Tainted Love, 80s Dance Party at the Bell House, Gowanus.

this tainted love you give… it’s so, so much better than no love at all. let’s go move it and shake it at the bell house for 980s dance night, the cure for well… thursday nights with no love at all. event is free, 10pm until the love runs out. or the taints come out. either way, i ain’t gonna be caught with my pants down. info here. 149 7th st at the bell house – you rang?

FRIDAY

Bob Moses at Terminal 5, in that rather shitty area of manhattan.

two reasons to go to this show – 1. bob moses is dope as shit and his music toes that stunningly listenable line between r&b and electronic, soulful beats and laid with languid harmonies. 2. imma be there homey. and this chick too. tickets. here. show starts at … if for some reason you still ahve doubt, well nevermind then don’t go. but if you want to listen and get pumped up before the show here. at terminal 5- where every beginning feels like the end.

60 Shots for 60 Shorts Power Hour at Creek and Cave, Long Island City.

i don’t know about you, but i never want to do a power hour again. i mean really – there are so many more inventive ways to get fucked up than chugging shots of beers and ending up bloated and burpy and completely sauced at some frat party. we’ve all grown up and maybe, the concept of the power hour also has. (also, this isn’t to be confused with the hour of power… of course). party boys chris donahue and … compiled 1-minute shorts by 60 comedians for your viewing and drinking pleasure… and between each act you have to take a shot of beer. or you know, just laugh and sip. and be called a fucking weenie. tickets and info here, $5. show and beer drinking begin at 10pm. 10-93 jackson ave, at creek + cave.

Dave Chapelle’s Block Party “Screening” (but actually it’s another party) in Fort Greene Park.

OUTDOOR MOVIES AREN’T DEAD. they’re just chilled out a bit.

let this be a lesson, to all of us. just like spike lee and dave chappelle, and bill murray’s appearances, when you make something big of your life, come back and have unannounced amazing parties in brooklyn. dave chapelle did this in clinton hill, the area where he grew up, back in 2004 and invited tons of awesome pals. see the documentary film about the night and the man himself right in the ‘hood where it all went down (and sorry, but doesn’t it seem like this is just going to become another “random” block party?? YEP. i’m not missing it this time and neither should you.) here’s how not to miss it. 645-845pm, fort greene park, myrtle ave and st. edwards st.

Glass Animals at Music Hall of Williamsburg.

is sold out both nights.

just wanted to dig that knife a little bit more, that’s all.

let’s commiserate right next door at one of my favorite spots in williamsburg, cubana social. 70 N 6th st. live music, killer mojitos, and some of the best empanadas in town. #glassanimalswho #jkstillfuckinghurts #bad

Richard Avedon, Moving Image, Exhibit at the Cadillac House, SoHo.

if you aren’t familiar with richard avedon’s unbelievable life’s work of stunning photography, then just trust me- you want to go to this exhibit. besides it’s your only reason to cross the river this weekend. avedon’s portraiture is unnerving and monumental. he would photograph celebrities for hours on end, having them sit or stand and vaguely pose until their exhaustion and annoyance took over and finally that moment where the humanity leaked through the facade and SNAP. there it would be. oh and also- he was easily the authority of fashion photography for his 60-year career. see some of his stuff here and then head QUICK to the final night of his exhibit at the cadillac house, 330 hudson st. 10am-7pm. info and such here.

SATURDAY

NYC Beer Tour, Brooklyn Kitchen, Williamsburg.

What is it about adding a layer of education and full facts into your drinking habits that makes it all feel a bit more noble? “I toured three breweries in Richmond Virginia this weekend!” Is something you can totally tell your mom. “I got so completely shit housed on beers I can’t quite tell yiu what city I was in, I just know someone shuffled me to the bus station and put me on a greyhound due south and I’m calling you from a pay phone outside of ….” Simp,y is not. In the spirit of learning and helping to justify our inebriation, check out the NYC beer tour at Brooklyn kitchen this weekend. Learn all about beer history in our humble metropolis, plus how it’s made, tasting notes, and of course more about our budding and flourishing beer local beer culture. $40 tickets and more info here. 100 frost st.

OKTOBERFEST

Yep, this isn’t Múnich. but this city still celebrates Oktoberfest with the best of them, with plenty of beer gardens and large beers in boots and people who like to drink and German immigrants. Your best options in Brooklyn are:

Brouwerij Lane, Greenpoint.

celebrate Saturday at charming yet annoyingly named brouwerij lane in greenpoint. 12+ specialty brews. free sausages and pretzels and joy. German vinyl spinning all day. Leiderhausen very optional but you do you. Starts at noon. 78 greenpoint ave at Brouwerij Lane – you don’t have to say it, we know how you feel.

The Hall at MP Taverna, Williamsburg.

Yeah I know. This place looks a bit like a holiday inn dining area from the outside. But, the “hall” and backyard have been bringing Williamsburg a constant flow of pretty dope events since its inception. Saturday is no different- celebrate Oktoberfest with sausages and pretzels and booze and songs. oh and by the way p, the MP stands for Michael Psilakis so haters can try and hate, you know this food is amazing. Party goes from 6pm on into the night. tickets, $15-35 all info here. 470 driggs ave.

Liima at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

they’re a side project of danish group Efterklang, which of course, should explain everything right? well regardless, these guys have an awesome sound and if you know anything about that stellar back room at baby’s all right you know that it was made for this type of sound. just listen to “you stayed in touch with the wrong guy” loud and tell me you aren’t dying to go to this show or to fuck. or do both, just one before the other, k? $15, tickets here. 146 broadway. doors at 8.

Ghostbusters Screening and Mallow Roast, Videology, Williamsburg.

you just can’t get enough bill Murray can you? have s’more, in the form of a ghostbusters screening and backyard mallow roast at videology. tickets, $5 and all other info here. 308 bedford ave. stay puffed, brooklyn.

SUNDAY

Bulletin Market’s closing weekend, Williamsburg.

Ah yes, another thing we’re losing to the relentless grip of wintertime. the charming bulletin market in that space on driggs and north 7th. live music, chic artisanal things, food trucks, dranks, hammocks, oversized soccer pool. yeah. so let’s spend most of the weekend there, and go down with a ship. 510 driggs. love you so much, i’d take a bullet(in) for you man.

so glad we have an understanding.

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so glad we have an understanding.

Pier 6, Brooklyn Bridge Park.

a floating land of enchantment. head here before it gets too cold to lay in the grass and admire martin creed’s work with the stunning nyc skyline in the background, plus playgrounds, dog parks, a sustainable garden on a barge that offers classes and demonstrations, public tours of a rad old light ship, and epic sunsets. every night. all info here. then bike down to all my favorite spots in red hook.

Lagunitas Beer Circus at Coney Island.

what up, lagunitas? you traverse the country to bestow your graces upon Brooklyn and decide to throw two dope events in one weekend? I dig it. it’s a throwback circus of epic proportions. 100+ performers from burlesque to old school freak shows and aerialists; 7 bands lined up, plus limited edition lagunitas brews, and food trucks. come in costume, join the spectacle. drink brews. tickets, $40. high noon-5pm, in the mcu parking lot. all info and tickets here!

World Maker Faire in Flushing.

just like the world’s fair of our fathers, over 650 inventors and tinkerers and thinkerers and you. go to this. just thinking about it makes my bells and whistles all AHOOOGAH and my sprockets steam and my eyes bug out, like that guy up there. $35/day, $65 weekend pass. everything else here. 47-01 111th st.

SUNDAY

The Last Tiki Disco, in Bushwick.

we bid you a solemn and hopefully farewell, tiki disco. oh keeper of our summertime souls and all of those memories we have strategically forgotten. let’s get it in one more time this sunday at 261 moore st. this site is more informative than mine is. www.tikidisco.com/

And we’ll be waiting here for you, of course, right where you left us. (forever.)

Mister Sunday Still Lives on in Ridgewood, Queens.

But hey good news! mister sunday is still happening, so we should all go.

Looks like we’ve separated the men from the boys now in the battle of Brooklyn outdoor sunday parties. Come see..

at nowadays, 56-06 cooper ave.

Oktoberfest also Lives On at The Habitat, Greenpoint.

holy shit, you still want to drink more big beers? and sing big songs? and eat big sausages? you savage animal! you wiley wildebeast! you positively preposterious platypus! (why are you still reading this) (also you’re not alone) info here. Oktoberfest continues at the habitat- where all beasts find a home.

i love you brooklyn. with my whole heart.

<3L.

the weekend guide | 1-5 sept 2016

Liz Norment — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 21:48:47 +0000

we work hard in this city, and that’s the beauty and downfall of new york- no one is here because they just ‘ended up here’. we’re here because we have something to believe in, to fight for, to work towards. and well, we’ve come a long way, baby. and it’s about time that someone recognized it. this labor day weekend, let’s reap the fruit of our labors. let’s weep for the labors that we’ve had to put in just for our fruits to blossom. and then die. before we could even retrieve them. let’s experience everything that this city has to offer beyond the confines of our cubicles! let’s close our laptops and leave our to-do lists undone and not even put up an out of office and let’s never look back brooklyn.

(are you picturing me on a soapbox in front of the statue of liberty holding a bottle of champagne with a slight tear in my eye?)

(oh… well, are you doing that now?)

ok you unimaginitive little beasts- lighten up and read on.

and let’s fucking get to work.

THURSDAY

Thursday Supper at the Farm on Kent, Williamsburg.

sure, maybe it feels to early to celebrate the apple harvest, but it seems that our dear corporate companions did not hesitatated to stuff mini crunch bars and plastic jackolanterns and pumpkin spice everything down our throats just after easter. SO, let’s gently start our fall harvest celebrations with something beautiful and wholesome and pure. thursday night brings us a cider dinner at the beautiful north brooklyn farms. dine outside with pre-fall bounty from the garden and cider pairings from aaron burr cidery. **ATTN** these dinners are sold out for the next few months, so go to this one tonight, 7-1030pm. tickets, here – $100 gets you an unbelievable meal, cider pairings, and one of the few unobstructed views we still have of the east river. 320 kent ave. QUICK GO GO GO. cider?!?! i ‘ardly knew ‘er!

New York Salsa Congress, all over the city, all weekend.

with all of the club-bumping we lose ourselves into each weekend, celebrate instead this stunning form of artistic expression. this weekend is the annual new york salsa congress, featuring free lessons, showcasing some of the greatest salsa dancers from all over the world, hours of open dancing with live bands and each night offering an after party that starts at 3am. nothing is more captivating or seductive than salsa dancing, and i guarantee it will heat up in a much better way than the panther room at output. events schedule, tickets, and a bunch of other stuff to get you pumped found here.

Archestratus Blue Plate Special, Greenpoint.

this week’s sicilian family dinner at archestratus was, at press time (and maybe until you arrive!) TBD- which means that you are going to have to go on the faith that everything is magic inside of archestratus and family-style dinners in nogreepo are always a good idea and paige knows what she’s doing. (that’s a pretty good bet) 7-10pm – full plates and homemade bread, alcoholic bevvies for sale. 160 huron st.

FRIDAY

Black Rock Brooklyn at House of Yes, Bushwick.

are you sick of all of the mystical and dustily epic burning man images from all of your friends this past week? i’ll be honest, i’m not. but, i can’t keep from imagining myself in some rainbow-bright-meets-the-rocketeer-meets-the-rockettes-esque costume zooming around on my bicycle-turned-batmobile-turned-aladins-magic-carpet. lets turn all of those pure imagination-fueled images into reality and burn it down together at the house of yes friday night. it’s a burn event for all of us who could’t make it. there will be costumes and playa bikes and more black lights and wild decor than ever and also all of those things you think you could expect at burning man itself. but then we all go home at the end of the night, or to an after hours party… up to you. free before 11pm, or tickets $15, here. 2 wykoff ave. at the house of yes- where they don’t take no for an answer.

Grand Opening, Greenpoint Fish + Lobster, Long Island City.

for all of the wonder and fishy enjoyment and oyster tacos and raw bar delights that greenpoint fish co has been bringing to us for the past 3 years, it’s time we shared a bit of love with our neighbors to the north. greenpoint fish + lobster opens a long island city outpost that promises to offer more seating, some grab and go options for you laborers, plus all the best specials and taco tuesday with a gansett deals you know and love. grand opening is friday. go celebrate, then go back. so i can have my motherfucking spot back at the greenpoint location. (hey! just kidding! come sit with me!) 5-43 48th Ave at Vernon Blvd.

The Last Fireworks of the Season at Coney Island.

the worst things about summer ending? the sidewalk simply doesn’t replace the boardwalk. getting a hot dog from a hot dog stand feels desperate, not noble, and not as easy to blame sudden loud noises on fireworks with a hopeful smile. (man that got depressing fast) well let’s get our last fill this friday at coney island. sun, sand, fireworks, hot dogs, bearded ladies and bearded men! roller coasters! baseball! skeeball! skeezy balls! come onnnn! last fireworks show of the season starts at 930pm, at W 10th st at coney island. all other events and cool things, here.

Mets vs Nationals at Citifield, Flushing, Queens.

come meet the mets, and me! at the mets game. i’ll be signing autographs and giving you exclusive weekend events access, plus plenty of BiT schwag up in row 528! come on down! and then up! game starts at 705pm. helmet nachos start at 706pm. at citifiled, tickets, here. take me out to the ballll game! or wherever… just as long as you take me out.

Rule of III Pop-Up at Duke’s Annex, Greenpoint.

that little room of requirement attached to duke’s liquour box (which is room of requirement in and of itself) opens its magical doors again friday night and keeps them open, all september long, for “rule of III” a pop-up assemply of handmade fasions, beauty, and wellness experiences by local brooklyn creative collective. come by and be inspired, be transformed… then get a little bit of whiskey and get friskey. opening is friday, 12-9pm. 170 franklin st.

First Friday’s with El Jefe’s Nachoria at The Diamond, Brooklyn.

nachos cheese torched before your eyes, just after they ask for it. because they are naughty nachos that give themselves away for free. go, partake. i won’t tell anyone. nachoing begins at 730pm. beers run all day, all night. 43 franklin st. get tipsy and chipsy. then maybe a little lipsy. (just not in poughkeepsie.)

SATURDAY

Makossa Cookout and End of Summer Party, Output Rooftop, Williamsburg.

yeah i hate to say it, but summer’s ending. get a little closer to the sun to say your goodbye’s this saturday on output’s rooftop for the 6th annual makossa cookout, featuring khalil, max glazer, and an afternoon full of other friends. this is such a better alternative to electric zoo. tickets only $10 available here. 74 wythe ave, 2-10pm

Mike Birbiglia’s Thank God for Jokes, and Don’t Think Twice- in Brooklyn.

didn’t get to see the moth story slam a the bell house but you still want a piece of that charming sarcastic wit from mike birbiglia? well good news. he’s doing standup tonight and his new film, don’t think twice, co-written with ira glass and featuring a hell of a lot of other voices (with faces this time!) you’ll recognize, plays at the nitehawk everyday this month, standup, tickets, here. tickets to any nitehawk screening here.

Washington Square Outdoor Art Exhibit, Washington Square Park, Manhattan.

a damn good reason to cross the river this weekend in washington square park. it’s a museum al fresco with the bi-annual outdoor art art exhibition, featuring artists from all over the city and all over the world. go, take in some art. get inspired and feel better about the rest of your weekend, and all of those projects you promised you’d get a start on with the long weekend. now is the time. do them. (just after you check out all of this art.) all info here. sat-monday (plus next sat + sun!) enjoy the beautiful and blossoming fruits of their creative labor this labor day.

SUNDAY

Lucky #8 – Burmese Pop-Up Dinner from Myanmar at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

burmese pop-up from myanmar at baby’s all right- dinner! no rsvp needed

i know, i know. i pretty much only think of baby’s all right as that place where i’m always sweating and dancing like mad in that backroom with the rad lights show to some band i love or have just fallen in love with. well, they do dinners! yep. and dare i say our relationships with baby’s all right have evolved a bit. let’s join them sunday night for lucky #8, a burmese pop-up. there will be , , , and there might certainly be some sweating. and dancing. all info here, first come, first serve. 146 broadway. you aight, baby? yeah… baby’s all right.

Riis Beach Bazaar, Jacob Riis, The Rockaways.

guys guys. it’s the beach bizarre. which came about when the night bizarre was ousted from their greenpoint outpost, but now it will be reinstated, next week! so let’s go and celebrate the last weekend of this fabulous … turned institution. free entertainment and all of your favorite food vendors and drink mixers and friend. plus sunshine and sand all day.

Electric Zoo After Party,

you’re an animal. and you know this. and just because you didn’t go to electric zoo does not mean that you can’t party with those electric animals, after. if you want. and just between you and me, i bet you most of their electricity will have shorted out by this time of the evening (if you know will) (and i know you will), so hey- go to this. you’ll have a lot of room to move those hips on the dance floor and it will be easy to catch the bartenders attention with your fresh gaze and astute soldiers. it’s all happening at output. info and tickets here. 74 wythe ave at output- where you have to put out to get in.

The New Moon: A Guided Viewing Experience at The Hollows, Williamsburg.

can’t teach a new moon old tricks it seems. that’s why we need to all head to the hollows sunday night, for a guided viewing experience for this new moon phase. come for a 30-minute program followed by a viewing of the new moon. bring your own telescope or binoculars or use theirs… i secretly hope once we all loo through our viewing devices it’s just a fresh butt on the other side. but hey, that’s just me. all info here, sunday night, 9-10pm, 151 bedford ave. at the hollows- where you never feel empty. the hollows- where everything sounds like a bellowy greeting. (they’re trying to choose a slogan that will stick. feel free to leave your vote in the comments box below!)

MONDAY

oh BABY. take a deep breath, ok? we get a free motherfucking monday to do whatevver the hell we want. why? because we labor. because we work. we do not have to today. donate to your union, put all your wages in your pocket, and let’s celebrate, come with me??

West Indian-American Carnival, Crown Heights.

labor day might be a very american holiday, but trust me, you don’t want to miss this. the west indian-american carnivale in crown heights is everything you want this labor day. there will be music, there will be dancing, there will be art, there will be a hell of a lot more colorful feathers than you thought you’d run into on a monday (or i mean maybe less, i don’t know what you do.) this carnival is celebrating it’s 86th year in the city and you need to be a part of is this time. all event info can be found here, and you will find me there. 11am-6pm.

Labor Day Dance Party at The Farm on Kent, Williamsburg.

that’s right baby it’s a good old fashioned labor day hoe down on the farm. except this farm is filled with hipsters (and let’s be honest, plenty of hoes) and it’s in the shadow of the williamsburg bridge and the bluegrass trio has been replaced by dope djs and you will actually enjoy being there. all info here, 2-10pm, 320 kent ave. come, let’s boogie.

this is what we’ve been missing. every monday.

Summer Mondays at Zurilee Park, Lefferts Gardens.

yep, somehow i’ve missed this. all summer. i’ve let you down, brooklyn, and i’m sorry. but i’m not hanging up my hat, not just yet. apparently all summer zurilee park has been handing out free beers plus having mad cool dance parties with all-night happy hour deals and dope pizza. and djs. in a fresh as fuck backyard. and i haven’t been going, and neither have you i bet. so let’s go to the last and pretend like we’ve been there the whole time. “wow, i’m surprised they chose these pizza toppings for the last bash!” and “mmm, this must be the 82nd free zurille beer i’ve had this summer!” anyway, whatever we’ll make it work. monday. if you really need to know more than free beer, i guess click here. 230-11pm, 755 flatbush ave. at zurilee- a place i haven’t been. yet.

beaches and belches.

Labor Day Beach Party at Videology, Williamsburg.

ah yes and then of course this non-beach beach party at videology. this is the beach party for all of you excuse makers who aren’t going to make it to the beach. and you pale people. heyyy, i’m kidding. this is going to be a cool party and everyone has their reasons for not hitting the beach. let this be yours. tropical cocktails and beachy films all day, all night. party starts at noon, info here, 308 bedford ave.

Go to Jacob Riis.

ok fine then, go to the beach today! the beach bizarre is still there, waiting for you.

getsummered one last time. (make it count.)

really hope that guy is there.

House of Yes Labor Day BBQ, Bushwick.

i know this doesn’t surprise you. there’s an amazing all day barbecue and party at house of yes monday. because it’s labor day and if you’ve ever walked by one of their day parties, that massive and beautiful sound system draws you in like a moth to a flame or a hungover hipster toward a really loud day party. monday’s event is all we’ve been working for, guys- hot meat, dirty dancing, good vibes, sunshine. grills. america bandanas and hats and hearts. arrive before 4pm to get in free, tickets available here and at the door also (all of this was confusing to me, just go if you want to go.) 2 wyckoff ave. because it isn’t a ~~holi~~day without a massive event at house of yes – where they put the affirmative into all the action.

*i just wanted everyone to notice that the music is TBA and the food is TBA yet all rsvps are sold out. yeah. it’s an outdoor barbecue and party and they haven’t even said anything about the music or the food and it doesn’t even fucking matter. house of yes, give me some of that magic. i’m fucking serious man. give it to me. 2pm-2am.

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looks pretty enchanting already.

#screendoorofenchantment at Reclamation Bar, Williamsburg.

this event promises that “you will be transported to a far away land within brooklyn”… YES. i have no idea what this is. absolutely no clue. but you know what i do know? i will take the secret door of enchantment in hopes that it leads me anywhere other than being hungover and sunburnt and angry at my desk on tuesday morning. i won’t even look back, not once. let’s go together. 8pm-midnight at reclamation bar,

there isn’t any information on it but here is a website. go on, click away. unless you’re john nash there are no other hints there. 8pm-midnight, 817 metropolitan ave. at reclamation bar- a place for scavengers.

phew i don’t know about you, but all of this celebrating the fruits of my labor has left me… well, fruitless. and ruthless. and a bit empowered to quit before the harvest. and move to bali. ya dig?

(let’s go.)

<3L.

the weekend guide | 24-28 august 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 21:45:31 +0000

i’m worried about us, brooklyn. about all of us. that pleasant little breeze that’s been in the air, licking our skin and whispering in our ears, “feels good, doesn’t it?” well it might as well be the kiss of death. it’s coming brooklyn.

i don’t want to stop seeing your knees.

so let’s shed our clothing with our inhibitions and show off that summer skin all the way to the end, holding hands and listening to this song and not looking back, even once.

you’re getting warmer already….

THURSDAY

Loaded Canon Reading Series at Brooklyn Oenology, Williamsburg.

may this photo serve as evidence that wine and storytelling are impossible to separate. so many tales from these weathered boots and bota, from this inimitable truth comes thursday night’s loaded canon reading series at brooklyn oenology. it’s literature and storytelling meet cocktails and wine meeting all of you meeting each other. this series focuses on the unfinished works from the city’s rising generation of authors, and the fresh and untested words will juxtapose the earthy, complex, and matured wines flawlessly. 6-9pm at brooklyn oenology, 209 wythe ave. because you can’t spell raconteur without ~~oenology~~ having a little wine first.

Vegan Blue Plate Dinner at Archestratus, Greenpoint.

family dinner goes vegan at archestratus thursday night, as owner Paige Lipari attempts to prove that sicilian food can stand alone without meats and cheeses. and egg products. and meats. come thursday for this family style meal of homemade calzones, plus bread and beer and wine, at one of my favorite places in greenpoint. $17 for the plate, drinks are for sale, all info here. 7-9pm, 160 huron st.

i think this is the worst graphic i’ve ever seen.

DJ Reaganomics at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.

the olympics inspired us to do a lot, inspire us to be more active, show us that any goal, no matter how seemingly insurmountable, is attainable, and make international diplomacy seem within our reach, among other things. but with all this rio coverage i haven’t been able to get that samba out of my hips. and i want to try to work some of it out, with you, at threes brewing. meet me thursday night for dj reaganomics, spinning all of your favorites samba, salsa, mambo, basically everything you need to loosen up those hips and make some bad decisions. it’s free, 333 douglass st, at threes brewing- i’ll try anything thrice.

Dirty Thursday at House of Yes, Bushwick.

i don’t know about you but once the heat wave lifted i’ve felt a bit too clean, a bit too unsweaty. and i had a handy cleaner come monday and she did the standard mild-to-average bit of cleaning, and i’ve only told ~~three~~ four lies this week. i’m too clean. i don’t want to wait until friday to get dirty, ya heard? join me thursday at the house of yes for dirty thursday, their weekly opportunity to make the baddest of decisions, with all of your closest friends and future one-night-stands, plus an outdoor garden, djs all night, and cheap cheap drinks. get down and dirty fo’ free, all info here, 1-pm-2am, 2 wyckoff ave. at the house of yes– they put the sensual in consensual.

FRIDAY

photo via greenpointers.com

Party at San Damiano Mission, Greenpoint.

yep, that’s at a church. with friar bartenders. but in the brooklyn way, we might as well go to the source. sinning and asking for forgiveness at the same time. and place. having a bit of the sacrament and the poison. and dance yrself clean, or dirty, there’s no judgement there. that of course is reserved for the big guy. party starts tonight at 8:30pm, doors at 8. suggested donation at the door- $10, cash or credit. all other info here. 21 nassau ave. at the san damiano mission, “meeti…” (i didn’t make that one up, it’s actually on their website…)

little ass tacos.

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little ass tacos.

Taculitos Pop-Up at Brooklyn Safe House, Greenpoint.

there is nothing safe about the brooklyn safe house. and not in the “hey babe, take a walk on the wild side” kind of way. it’s bad in there. but something about taculitos makes my little butt come a runnin’. every friday night, these babies pop up and serve you the cutest and most asstastic taculitos you’ve ever eaten. go there, i guess. maybe take one to go. i’m probably just going to hold my breath and reach my hand in the doorway and get my taco and run for the hills. 120 franklin st, 7pm-1am. check out their hilarious instagram here, then get your sweet little ass there.

Miss Favela, dance parties every weekend, Williamsburg.

this place, every friday and saturday. the caipirinhas are flowing and the hips are moving and everyone is sweating and it’s my dream come true, right under the williamsburg bridge. salsa, samba, mamba, mamas. llamas. let’s go- 57 S 5th st,

SATURDAY

BBQ and Mezcal Bonanza at Esme, Greenpoint.

you know those days this summer that you wished you could have all of your friends in one place? you know, the smart one, the smokey one, the drunk one, and the odd one… well they are all waiting for you just dow the street at esme’s mezcal and bbq bonannnnnza! all of your neighborhood homies- archestratus books, oddfellow’s icecream, duke’s liquor box and brujo mezcal converge upon esme’s enchanting outdoor garden for a smokey celebration of pulled pork and fermented cacti. it’s bbq and mezcal folks and it’s just for you. 1-6pm free. at esme- where it’s not you, esme.

PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City.

you have NO excuses any more and i can’t help you. THIS IS THE LAST ONE, so i recommend GOING. no one cares who’s playing. we’re all going. together. (this is not a “oh i have a few hours, i’ll check it out” kind of affair. it will take all of your saturday and at least 3/4 of the mental space of your sunday. and it will all be worth it.) tickets here. i’m already heatin’ up.

oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.

this is the tent of secrets.

Machine Gun America, part of Fringe Fest, Clemente Center, LES.

you reason to cross the river this weekend– this is what we need, right now and always. in the midst of so much anger and muckracking (is that still useable?) I saw this play last night and was absolutely floored by its wit, intelligance, revelance, and refreshing take on some heavy shit. In the lightest of ways. tickets here– 2pm is your last chance to see it, or check out any of these great films, also party of fringe nyc. shows at the clemente center, 107 suffolk st. because fringe doesn’t only belong on your sarong.

the view from rooftop reds.

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the view from rooftop reds.

Ribs and Rose and Rooftop Reds, Brooklyn Navy Yard.

ah. brooklyn. as bathing suit season nears to a sad and painful close, but the good thing about it is that we can all eat ribs again. and continue to drink rose with absolutely no abandon. and let’s do it all on a rooftop, in the navy yard, with cornhole and dirty balls and hammocks and couches and music and love, lots of it. $50 gets you .two lovely rose’s and a plate of fletcher’s barbecue (heavy on the ribs) 4-8pm, at the navy yard, 4th st (enter through the tourets at sands st).

9th Annual South Slope Derby, South Slope.

hell fucking yes why am i not still soap box size?!?! If you were ever a kid, the soap box derby was a dream of yours. My sister and I kind of fashioned one out of a laundry basket and two sets of rollers skates but um… it wasn’t the same. #timeswerehard #stillare #jalopy

At least watch those dreams come true for a bunch of hipster kids on saturday. noon-4pm. free. starts at 306 17th st and continues down 17th. get off your soap box and have some fun, kiddos! hyuk!

RoofTop Above Pool Party at the McCarrren Hotel, Williamsburg

damn right it’s a nighttime rooftop pool party. with djs and those really instagrammable oversized floats and insane drink specials (oysters for a hott dolla, vodka slushies for 5 bones and a beer-and-shot for 8 cajones!!) and a one-of-a-kind sunset and it’s totally fucking free. get there quick. “happy hour” specials are from 5-7pm, party is from 4pm-2am. all other info here. 160 north 12th st.

Brooklyn Bike Rave, in Brooklyn.

so I’m not the biggest fan of paying for your enjoyment on a bicycle. but if it goes towards making more bike lanes and involves bedazzled bikes, I’m in. 6-10pm, tickets $50 here. let’s just hope you haven’t vejazzled recently. because, well. you know. nothing offeets a good bike bedazzling like a recent vajazzing

Mean Red’s Dark Disco on the Roof at Output, Williamsburg.

ah, of course- you can always do the rooftop party another time. next fucking summer. stop kidding yourself, and head to output’s rooftop satruday for mean red’s dark disco on the roof. sounds dangerous, sounds precarious, but i guarantee the only sound you’ll here are the sweet motherfucking beats of rezz, cry baby, hiyawatha, and the unending and infectious cries of joy from all of your best friends. tickets and info here, at output– where you have to put out to get in.

SUNDAY

Tomato-ness at Archestratus, Greenpoint.

Summer’s greatest loss every year is the tomato. I simply cannot enjoy some bullshit hydro-grown tomatoes from a plant in New Jersey. Come give reverence where it is so so due at archestratus Sunday. Chef Meredith Kurtzman prepares a five course ode to the fruit of the gods. $35, two seatings, 11am-4pm. tickets and info here.

Bulletin Market Pop-Up, Williamsburg.

because all of our blacktops should be markets before they become something sad. be happy this weekend at the bulletin market in that sacred space on driggs, before its replaced by granite countertops and mundanity, let’s not take it for granted. they have tacos, meatballs, cornhole, faux grass benches, djs! a cooling station. everything you could ever want so go. driggs and n. 8th st. check it out and rsvp here!

Mister Sunday at Nowadays, Ridgewood, Queens.

a summertime brooklyn institution. this isn’t what non-brooklynites indulgently refer to as “sunday funday”. no no no. this is not for the weak at hearts who boast about their residual rosé headaches around the Keurig machine, proudly bouncing slightly on the low-pile grey office carpet wearing their smart ballet flats on Monday morning. this is for you, brave heart. mister sunday would like to tip his hat slightly and extend his hand to shake yours and then never ever let go. dig? tickets, $20. 3-9pm at 56-06 cooper ave.

Coney Island Street Art and Beach Run, Coney Island.

this is how coney island does a hybrid event. go on a street art tour, participate in a charitable run, eat a nathan’s hot dog, go on the rides, get in the water (if you dare)… every single event on this list will end in vomiting, whether you’re hungover or not (and i will be hungover). anyway man i’ll do it if you’ll do it. $20 and 10am-noon for the run, everything else… all night baby. info here.

The Enchanted Realm of Rene Magritte, Governors Island.

because the only way to get inside his head seems to be to get outside your own, governor’s island brings us a uniquely immersive dive deep into the complex subconscious of rene magritte, surrealist visionary and artistic genius. or mad man. of which there is little difference, of course. the exhibit runs through 25 sept but go now. $15 tickets and info here, at house 17, nolan park, governors island. one thing you won’t regret this weekend- magritte.

what not to do this weekend- tove lo plays webster hall.

and then we hold hands and watch the sunset and turn our backs to september as it approaches and weep together.

<3L.

the weekend guide | 18-21 august 2016

Liz Norment — Thu, 18 Aug 2016 20:21:57 +0000

ok folks let’s check in here. it’s august 18th- how many hot dogs have you had this summer? at what shade is your summer skin? do you know where your unborn children are? well not to panic here or anything but TIME IS RUNNING OUT. get out there and make some bad decisions and get a sunburn and smother yourself in mustard. and then rinse off in a chilled rosé shower. and then jump in the ocean, or hug a stranger or I DON’T KNOW ok? but i’m panicking. let’s all take a deep breath of this hot luscious august air and attack these last few weeks, together. with our sweaty palms squished tightly against each other.

come with me. and don’t you dare look back.

THURSDAY

the break vintage will break you (without leaving you broke)

Happy Hour at The Break Vintage, Bushwick.

maybe your ass has been all over bushwick, but here’s a chance to leave your mark. and to drink free rosé. and to get mad discounts on amazing vintage. how is all of this possible? because when the break vintage has an end of summer sale and they add free wine, washable body paint, and thongs to create beautiful butt art. on the walls. this is how we do things here in brooklyn, and trust me- this event will be all its cracked up to be. 574 bogart st, #312. 5-8pm, info here. the break vintage is trying to break your heart. just like wilco.

REVEAL at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.

the warsaw is an old polish national house in greenpoint where you can see everything from monsters wrestling, community bingo night, and progressive musicians doing progressive things. thursday night will transform the cafeteria-event hall into an exhibit showcasing the best current and local artists in film, fashion, music, art, performance and everything else it says in that handy graphic above. there will be a runway show, a medley of live music, interactive visual art galleries and living hair and makeup statuettes on pedestals that will make you question hair, makeup, and humanity. go to this event and be amazed at the limitless nature of art and performance. tickets, $20 can be purchased here. hang up the hooligan garb you normally wear to the warsaw, it’s cocktail attire. so get fancy. 7-11pm, 261 driggs. info and tickets here. because nothing says raw like cocktail dresses and human statuettes.

Pizza Night at Archestratus Books, Greenpoint.

it’s nothing new to have odd conglomeration/fusion of things in this city- we’re pressed for space but not for creativity. so north greenpoint’s bookstore-bar-restaurant-eventspace is bringing you everything you’ve ever wanted in one charming little space. thursday night is monthly build-your-own-pizza night with 20 locally procured toppings to choose from and chef allie laporte of wilson daniels to give you a wine pairing for your unique creation. $16/pie, beer, wine, and vermouth for purchase. 7-9pm. all info here, 160 huron st. at archestratus,

LONDON, ENGLAND – AUGUST 1: Ricardo Santos of Brazil jumps to serve the ball as teammate Pedro Cunha watches against Martin Reader and Joshua Binstock of Canada during the Men’s Beach Volleyball preliminary match between the Brazil and Canada on Day 5 of the London 2012 Olympic Games at Horse Guards Parade on August 1, 2012 in London, England.

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men’s beach volleyball at the london olympics.

Olympics Viewing Party and Photography Exhibit, Brooklyn Museum, Prospect Heights.

if you haven’t taken the opportunity to tune out all of this political bullshit and celebrate america and watch the olympics, there is hope for you not. and you are a curmudgeon. for everyone else, come watch the olympics in a rad sculpture garden and then be moved by the photography exhibit Who Shot Sports, a collection of prolific photos from the olympics, 1843-present. 8-10pm, free, 200 eastern parkway. info here.

FRIDAY

Out for Drinks with Orr Shtuhl at Archestratus, Greenpoint.

i remember my first beer. and have a feeling that i will remember the one i have friday night, at archestratus, but i gotta be honest- i’ve forgotten a hell of a lot of the ones in between. make and share some memories at everyone’s favorite bookstore in NoGreePo. Orr Stuhl shares his love of beers, brewing, and the persistance of memory- and how alcohol inevitably affects it. $14 includes a beer, all info here, 7pm at archestratus books, 160 huron st.

End of Summer Party, Bushwick Public House, Bushwick.

it’s mid-august in brooklyn, not september in ibiza. there is absolutely no need to promote everything as if it’s the last weekend and we’re never going to see sunlight or bare knees again. however, that does not mean we should hesitate to celebrate sunlight and bare knees. and do so with all of our closest friends and a slew of impressive fucking djs (DJs Simon Sez, Ella Hu$$le, Reez, and Beazy Hype) at the bushwick public house, for free, on friday night. 1288 myrtle ave, the bushwick public house- they put the lick in public(k).

Love Muscle at the House of Yes, Bushwick.

nothing should surprise you anymore about the epic and out-there events at the house of yes. friday’s musings bring us love muscle, which of course is a dance party with massive interactive sculptures. that you can climb on. in costume or in the nude, if you so choose. it also promises psychedelia, amazing conversation, sacred geometrical lamps (you can’t tell me those aren’t rad as fuck). go to this. and be the naked one climbing the sacred geometrical lamp, ok? just promise me that. free before 11pm with rsvp or $15, tickets and info here. 11pm-4am 2 wyckoff ave. love muscle at the house of yes- where you don’t have to strong arm me! it’s always yes.

SATURDAY

LIC Block Party, Long Island City, Queens.

it’s so important that we support or neighbors to the north, and they make it mega easy with events like this. live music! interactive performances! arts and crafts to buy or make! artisanal foods! bespoke cocktails! hint: this is everything you like, and it’s for all ages! so you know… those friends of yours who you’ve shunned because they had babies can come. or keep shunning them. up to you. all info here, noon-5pm, purves st & 43 avenues. i’m going to this but between you and me, that street name gives me the willies.

so relieved to see a food picture that was not perfectly styled. albeit a bit corny… they really through the hammer down on this one (is that a phrase?) and. it’s a real mash up. (i’m done.)

Brooklyn Crab Festival at Mirrors, Williamsburg.

pinch me i must be dreaming! crabs in brooklyn? this photo says it all, but if you really need more of my words… well, that is rather shellfish. it’s crabs, and a good old fashioned cajun boil. there will be beers too. and other things to drink. here is a pulsd deal you should use and here is all the other info. 284 grand st at mirrors, where all your reflections are grand!

this picture makes me sad and doesn’t fit in on this page.

Plant a Fall garden, Wyckoff Farmhouse Museum, Flatbush.

mmm, do you know what the really good thing about fall is? and no it’s not the fucking pervasive presence of faux-pumpkin flavoring hemorrhaging aggressively out of everything that tasted familiar just a week ago. and it’s also not the slow and visceral covering of the knees, shoulders, midriffs, hearts as we all regress back into being strangers. it’s vegetables. new ones, especially for the season. find out how to grow them yourself and create an urban garden to bring a bit of cheer to the changing of the seasons. $8 tickets here, 1-3pm at the wyckoff farmhouse museum, 5816 clarendon rd.

Bulletin Market Pop-Up, Williamsburg.

because all of our blacktops should be markets before they become something sad. be happy this weekend at the bulletin market in that sacred space on driggs, before its replaced by granite countertops and mundanity let’s not take it for granted. driggs and n. 8th st. check it out and rsvp here!

The Enchanted Realm of Rene Magritte, Governors Island.

PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City.

This LIC summertime party institution also has a permanent residency on my weekend guide, from now through labor day. so i recommend checking the schedule and either choosing based on the tunes or your own availability (this is not a “oh i have a few hours, i’ll check it out” kind of affair. it will take all of your saturday and at least 3/4 of the mental space of your sunday. and it will all be worth it.) tickets here. i’m already heatin’ up.

oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.

this is the tent of secrets.

Full Moon Festival, Saturday AND Sunday! Governor’s Island.

ok you know the drill at this point. it’s summertime in new york which means epic outdoor festivals that combine live music, djs, dancing, art installations, culinary delights, inventive and intrepid cocktails… it’s where all of your dreams come true. this one comes with a cosmic bonus- the motherfucking august full moon. this is how you embrace summer. go go go go GO. (go.) tickets and schedule here. moon me, swoon me.

SUNDAY

Play (red) Hooky, Sunday, at Redhook.

(this is a Brooklyn, I’m Trying sponsored all-day event)

in case you didn’t know, there’s a brooklyn themed putt putt course in red hook. yeah, there is. and it’s indoors. and its interactive. so sunday, bike down past the river, pop in and go kayaking (fo free!), get crabs while drinking beers and playing cornhole, then cool off indoors at this brooklyn adventure land and pop into the world’s greatest dive bar before you head back up to gowanus for chances with wolves, at threes brewing. this is your sunday. embrace it. and look for me. (find me and get free crabs!) (that was both inappropriate and also false!) (you’ll get a beer!)

Chances with Wolves at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.

this is the greatest dj duo in brooklyn, spinning at my new favorite brooklyn brewery. you must go. and you must dance. because you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take, especially if wolves are involved. 333 douglass st. 2-8pm. at threes brewing- i’ll try anything thrice.

or, here are your other sunday options…

Bikini Sundae at House of Yes, Bushwick.

if’ you’ve ever gotten icecreams at jacob riis and then ran across the beach in the hot hot sun to deliver them only to arrive with two cones and a body covered in stickiness and sprinkles, well then, you basically have sunday’s event at house of yes. except there will be dancers and djs and likely more than one sticky situation. but never fear, as a fundraiser they will be offering car washes, bike washes, or body washes to help support their new human suspension system. (can you write that off on your taxes as a charitable donation?) yep. so that about sums it up. sunday, tickets here, 2 wyckoff ave at the house of yes- where

MCA Day, Littlefield, Gowanus.

come to the 5th annual celebration of one of brooklyn’s finest, at a party he would have planned himself. music! art! spearkers! charities! neighbors! friends! and it’s totally free. come, celebrate. all info here at littlefield, 622 degraw st.

(and now let’s all escape to the beach and skip work tomorrow and a thousand other tomorrows too)

<3L.

the weekend guide | 11-14 august 2016

Liz Norment — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 00:40:12 +0000

you haven’t made any moves without me, right? like, none? ok cool. because this heat is making new yorkers a little bit crazy. but don’t worry, i’ve made plans for you, brooklyn. and i’m going to hold your hand so that all of your moves will be good ones. (except that new dance move you’ve been doing. i can’t help you there.)

THURSDAY

Grand Street Restaurant Week, Grand St, Williamsburg (mostly)

ah grand st! among the streets most resistant to gentrification in our pubescent neighborhood. let’s embrace it and celebrate it and do so by (i realize i’m completely eating my words here) heading to grand st restaurant week! yep! it has its own. and that’s dope because it’s going to be way cooler than that restaurant week across the pond. every single restaurant on this list is fantastic, but my top picks are le barricou (escargots! and a very french burger!) and bahia (the tilapia al sarden! and of course. i love a good flan). view menus and book your spot here. on grand between union and bushwick aves. #grandstisgrand #admititcomeon

Bad Advice from Bad Women at Word, Greenpoint.

because for all the mischief i am going to assist you in causing this weekend, we need someone else to blame. “no, i didn’t realize i couldn’t be naked here” “i thought no trespassing was a suggestion” “oh the pool is closed??!” point the finger to these 4 bad women. they speak at word books thursday night giving us all a bit of bad advice and i for one will be taking every bit of it. at word books, 126 franklin st. rsvp is encouraged. event starts at 7pm, and then we’re going streaking. bring your green hat.

go for the sunset, stay for the music.

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go for the sunset, stay for the music.

Baebel Music’s Band + Brews at Industry City, Sunset Park.

if you haven’t been to industry city yet, then i really don’t know why you keep reading these weekend guides. i can’t tell you enough- this area was the new hottness, now it’s starting to cool off… so go quick. football-field sized warehouses create a community right on the water, and this event is plopped right in between two of them. with a courtyard. and food trucks. and brews. and music. and likely a killer sunset. there should be no other questions from you- go. this is why we live in brooklyn. show is free, 7-10pm. all info here, 619 2nd ave. baebel on, baby.

Kreung Cambodian Dinner at The Diamond, Greenpoint.

ah, the constantly evolving, multi-faceted brilliance of the diamond. thursday it enters into the realm of exotic small plate supper club because why the fuck not. seriously. why not. it’s cambodian, it’s khmer, it’s kreung, and its guaranteed to go oh-so-well with that rotating tap of beers you’ve never heard of… and you feel like you drink a lot of microbrews. i love the diamond. and it loves you, and if you’re reading this then you at least tolerate me so we’re just a big love ring. 43 franklin st, 6-10pm. time to get kreunnnng baby.

FRIDAY

jasmine soldano plays at the brooklyn museum friday. headdress (kind of) optional.

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jasmine solano plays at the brooklyn museum friday. headdress (kind of) optional.

THE LAST Summer DJ Boombox Residency, Brooklyn Museum, Prospect Heights.

the brooklyn museum brings its summer dj series into a larger-than-life dreamscape as jasmine solano, zach witness, joe hova, and busquelo blast their tunes on tom sach’s giant boomboxes. it’s a dance party and a museum exhibition all in one, so be ambitious here at the start of your weekend. multi task and dance your ass off and pretend that work is just a figment of your imagination. (set your alarm before you arrive, k?) 6-945pm, free. 200 eastern parkway. they call me mister boombastic.

Tropical Metropolis: One Night in Bangkok, House of Yes, Bushwick.

let your spirit precede you and arrive pure of hurt and dirty of mind at this tropical paradise in bushwick. use your imagination plus whatever means available to create the exotic destination of your wildest desires. free before 11, after tickets can be purchase here. 11-4am, 2 wyckoff ave. come because- what happens in thailand, might as well happen at the fucking house of yes– where the moon is always 3/4 full.

Pancakes and Whiskey’s 3rd Birthday Bash at Rough Trade

if you haven’t heard of pancakes and whiskey then you are going about breakfast all wrong. and lunch. and dinner. and every time in between when not you’re filling your ears with really good fucking music. this poignant and prophetic music blog celebrates its third birthday at rough trade, with a show by the skins. come and let the beautiful tunes drip slowly over your body like its a stack of unleavened bread and then have a shot of whiskey. doors at 8, show’s at 9, tickets here. 64 N 9th st at rough trade- where things always go more smoothly than you think.

SATURDAY

African Food Festival, Dumbo.

a unique outdoor food festival by the river in brooklyn this weekend? count me in, twice. it’s the african food festival in dumbo showcasing cuisines from all over the continent with a focus on vegan and vegetarian dishes (but there will be meats!) plus cooking demonstrations, some rising star african chefs, and an atmosphere they descripe as a “daylong brunch party” also, based on their FAQs section alone, i want to be there. (note: you cannot bring any physical objects to the event. so. lets go naked?) saturday and sunday, 63 flushing ave, tickets start at $20 and include all kinds of surprises, depending on what you pay. noon-8pm.

Bulletin Market Pop-Up, Williamsburg.

because all of our blacktops should be markets before they become something sad. be happy this weekend at the bulletin market in that sacred space on driggs. Games food goods and other good things. before its replaced by granite countertops and mundanity let’s not take it for granted. driggs and n. 8th st. check it out and rsvp here!

The Enchanted Realm of Rene Magritte, Governors Island.

PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City.

oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.

this is the tent of secrets.

Machine Gun America, part of Fringe Fest, in Manhattan!

it’s not everyday that you have a friend who’s play beat out 800 other entires to fringe fest. and that it was written up by the wall street journal. and it’s not everyday that that friend also has exceptionally (even curiously!) well-groomed eyebrows. well then these are really fucking special days because all three of those things have happened. come see Machine Gun America, what is bound to be a hilariously satirical play on our country’s ‘enduring affair with firearms’. showtimes and tickets can all be found here. this is your reason to cross the river this weekend, so use it. or lose it. bitch.

Sammy Bananas at Brooklyn Bowl, Williamsburg.

this guy. is. so. fucking. good. go bananas, get slippery, peel out, slice yourself up over a bowl of cheerios i don’t really care at this point GO GO GO. bananas. in pajamas. and come down those stairs saturday night at brooklyn bowl, 61 wythe ave. at brooklyn bowl- where the only thing you’ll be spared is the bowling.

SUNDAY

Bark in the Park at Brooklyn Cyclones Game, Coney Island.

it’s bring your pet to the cyclones game night, and they are playing the black bears. never in my life have i ever met a coincidence so positively fortuitous that i would actually consider bringing my monster of a bear cat into public. and with beers close-by (he’s recovering… from last night). regardless i’ll be there. with or without my furry friend. schedule and tickets here, 1904 surf ave, at the brooklyn cyclones- get twisted, have a ball!

Moon and Menses, The Hollows, Williamsburg.

women don’t just want to pretend we are more astronomically complex and cosmically relevant than you are (and you know who you are), but it’s the truth. we are. come to the hollows, among brooklyn’s newest and most innovative art spaces in … to hear about cases of menstrual synchronization while hearing some minstrel harmonization. sunday’s meditation session focuses on connecting the the sacred feminine. session is free form 9-1010pm. for other events and info, seek here. 151 bedford ave. at the hollows- where you never feel empty.

RIVER STYX Farewell Party, Greenpoint.

meatballs!!! this is only goodbye for a little while… just for a little while. as a tribute to the restaurant that brought us secret meatball sundays and also increased our chances of having a beer with bill murray (but aren’t we all kind of always about to have a beer with bill murray?) riverstx is shuddering its doors, for a bit, this monday. so let’s go down with the ship on sunday and send the of in style. come commemorate and commiserate and coagulate from 00000 so much so that we will not e able to bring another meatball to our lips or cocktail to our throats until they open their doors to reveal a reimagined riverstyx in a few months time. celebration goes on all day,

and then lets all put aloe on our sunkissed skins and slip into a dreamland where monday doesn’t exist and everything is the beach and everybody eats peaches, all the time.

and we’re never late.

and there’s no pokemon.

<3L.

the weekend guide: 28-31 july 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 28 Jul 2016 20:20:11 +0000

things we know: it’s hot. and it’s the weekend. and we pay way way too much rent to let anything get in the way of enjoying the last days of july. every time you complain about the heat, remember those things we so amicably refer to as “sleeping bag coats“. and then have a sip of rosé and get movin’.

ah, not sure how? i have an idea or two…

THURSDAY

Brooklyn Screams for Ice Cream! Brookyn Historical Society, Brooklyn Heights.

the future and history of icecream. well, it’s either in my belly or about to be in my belly… let’s see if the brooklyn historical society can expand upon that (and knowing them, they damn well can.) come hear about icecream, see about icecream, learn about icecream, and have some too. rumor has it they will be offering hypotheses on the future of the cone, one of the only edible food containers born out of pure necessity. tickets, here. 128 pierrepoint st. i’ll stop the world and melt with you. thursday night.

Dreamcatcher Workshop at Line and Label, Greenpoint.

oh-oh dreamweaver, i believe you can get me through the niiiight by winding and twisting around me just so tightly and leaving woven into me pieces of your heart and your hopes and your dreams.

that’s my ballad about thursday night’s craft event, from the perspective of a feisty little wooden hoop. for more in this series, words as a wooden hoop. kindly find something else to read.

thursday night. brooklyn i’m trying darling Line + Label is having their FIRST and certainly not their last (i suppose pending the improvement of relative press coverage) craft event. make your own rad dream catcher and prevent those lucid aspirations from escaping ever again. plus look mega hip around new lovers and native americans. 568 manhattan ave, 5-8pm, $50 includes all materials. rsvp- info@lineandlabel.com, all other info here. love me, leave me… just don’t weave me.

look at these brilliant scientists, contemplating… their next tecate.

Drunk Science Presents: Outerspace at Littlefield, Boerum Hill.

My Very Excellent Mom Just Served Us Three Drunk Comedians Talking About Space, at this charming little event space in south brooklyn. thursday night welcomes the debauchery of drunk science as three hipsters, rather predictably, pose as experts on just about anything and try to drunkenly convince a group of people why. in this case, they try to present their best dissertation about outerspace to a panel of real scientists and astronauts and one secret alien among them. tickets, $5, available at the door. all info here. 8-930pm, 622 degraw st. just tryin’ to cop a little field. baby.

David Byrne and other heads, talking… at Good Room, Greenpoint.

and you may ask yourself- this is not my beautiful good room. this has transformed into a panel discussion by some of the most progressive movers and shakers in the music industry. and then you may go to good room to see them. and you may be equally starstruck and inspired. and you may (you may!) bring that big oversized shoulder-heavy suit out of the closet and everyone will be totally cool with it. or like, mostly cool with it. the good room hosts david byrne, ryan schreiber, matthew ogle, and emilie friedlander friday night. 730-10pm, free; all info here. let’s all go, because it’s about time we all do something good for once at good room.

FRIDAY

Cruel Summer- 80s Dance Party at the Bell House, Gowanus.

the only thing cruel about summer is when it leaves us. so don’t let it leave us. go and revel in everything its about, 80s style- so make sure you donnasummer outfit. at the bell house. 149 7th st. and as they say- if your ears are ringing, you can find them at the bell house. (and you should keep better track of your ears.)

Salchipapas VI at Archetratus, Greenpoint.

archestratus is such a fantastic enigma to me, and just exactly what this neighborhood needed- without knowing it yet. at the intersection of food and stories, words and bites, poetry and digestion. that’s where you’ll find archestratus. friday’s event brings a latin american street-food tradition of meats and greets and… streets. and also storytelling and poetry and music, all curated by roy hunter. more info here, 7-10pm, 160 huron st. street meat and greet, a great state to mate!

Campfire Fridays, Riis Park.

the beach bus is nice. coney island is… well, iconic. but how do you embody the feeling of being in a beach town when you reside in the sprawling metropolis that is our city? you go to campfire fridays at riis park, you bring your own instrument or vocal chords or clapping hands and you sit and you drink and you sway and you pretend not to notice the silhouette of the skyline fading into the distance, instead only seeing the fractured moonlight skipping along the waves. every friday, hosted by texas transplant lorena leigh everything you need to know is here, 7-9pm, 16702 rockaway beach blvd. kumbayanhavabeer.

SATURDAY

Birre Ballz Happy Hourat Archestratus Books, Greenpoint.

it’s like everyone wants us to feel good about our alcohol intake this weekend by offering all sorts of incentives. guys, GUYS! we’ll come anyway! just for the beer! saturday at archestratus books, you get a arrancine ball with every beer. and that means a hell of a lot of rice at the rate we’re all going, and there’s nothing wrong with that. 2-7pm at archestratus books, 2-7pm, 160 huron st.

Puppies ‘n Pints at the Knitting Factory, Williamsburg.

my constant struggle on the weekends is the detachment i feel, equally, from either my incredibly adorable pet or the relentless day party scene here in our borough. saturday you can have both. fuzz and suds. barks and brews. adoption and inebriation. good decisions and bad decisions and then all good decisions in the end. come play with pups and get a little loose and think that maybe now is the time to have a pet. because this city is cruel and tough, and these little sugar bears wouldn’t dare judge you for the relative size of your apartment or for falling asleep naked with your shoes and the light on. (unless you speak dog. in that case, they’re just like a jewish mother.) all info here, 1230-330pm, $12 tickets here. 361 metropolitan ave at the knitting factory- where everything comes together!

PS1 Summer Warm-Up, Long Island City.

oh and don’t forget to check out the tent of secrets, located in the back of the arboretum in the sculpture garden.

this is the tent of secrets.

Kickstarter Summer Festival! Fort Greene Park, which is in Fort Greene.

you’ll get a kick out of this. everyone’s favorite small business launch pad is holding a summer festival the only way that kickstarter could- with non-pokemon games, DIY arts + crafts, artsinal food booths, art installations and performances, creators, installators, innovators, alligators! oh and plenty of sunshine. 5-11pm free, fort greene park, myrtle ave and north portland st entrance. all info here.

Harry Potter Midniigh Release Party, Word Books, Greenpoint.

UM, so not too old for this. so so not. harry potter midnight book release party at Villain http://www.villain-llc.com/, complete with boozy butter beer and other themed drinks, wizardy games, and magic, of course. $29.99 gets you in the door and a book in your hand at midnight, followed by hours of wide-eyed page turning. party starts at 10pm, tickets here, 50 N 3rd st. #mudbloodsdoitdirty #acciobeernahmsayinnnn #babyimhowlerinforyou #youaremypatronus

Techno Overboard- Good Room Boat Party, Greenpoint and onto the high seas!

all i’m saying is that there’s only room for one boat party this weekend- for all of our health. and if i had to choose, it would be saturday’s techno overboard. what do you get when you put the good room on the water? bad, bad things. tickets, $25 here. boat sets sail from the world’s fair marina at 6.30 and we party all the way to greenpoint. all info you need is here. world’s fair marina 125-00 Northern Boulevard. the good room boat cruise- where seasickness would be your best outcome.

RINSED Coke Yacht, Hells Kitchen and onto the high seas!

listen, don’t shoot the messenger. or, you know, pass judgements on the messenger’s extracurricular activities because of an event she’s reporting about. yes, i know what this event is called but that by no way means that there will be any illicit activities happening on said boat nor will i be aware of have anything to say on the subject otherwise. but what i (and you now) know is that rinsed throws the dopest underground parties in the city, and nothing is more underground than those that are floating on water. in a boat. with your friends and rad djs and an afterparty at a shitty club on the west side that we will all commandeer and sail that ship way way way way way into the sunrise. tickets, here, but they are going insanely fast i hear. so get yours and get there early because i hear there are going to be long lines.

The One Night Only Recurring Dance Party at McCarren Park Hotel Rooftop

hey it’s that one night only party that happens every month. you know what that means? treat every fucking time like the first and the last. it’s rooftop pool party weather so make no excuses. get down to dj sets from the so so glos and bikes in the kitchen while you get up to no good. 10pm-2am, free. there’s no info just show up at 160 n 12th st. see you there, you little pork pie you.

SUNDAY

Dusty Rose Vintage Sidewalk Sale, Greenpoint.

In a neighborhood that suddenly has become defined by the prevalence of vintage shops (and i don’t hate it.) this one must be my favorite. sunday they pull out old lines, slightly flawed, or simply pieces they are sick of having around all from local makers and sell them to you at rock bottom prices. they are dusting off that made in brooklyn up charge and this simply doesn’t happen. get there. 251 greenpoint ave, noon-4pm at dusty rose vintage, where a rose by any other name wouldn’t be dusty!

Summer Camp Comedy, Alphabet City.

sundays are for hugs, laughs, and greasy foods… especially of the free variety. head to summer camp comedy at hifi bar sunday for a guaranteed 2 out of 3 of these things, and i bet you can squeeze a hug out of someone. 169 ave a, 730-930. hahahahahaHA.

Salsa Lessons at Brooklyn Bowl, Williamsburg.

a, hangovers- don’t they just make you want to cuddle up in bed with the lights off and netflix streaming? (or whatever it is exactly that netflix does?) well, resist. must i remind you that it is the last weekend in july? summertime is leaving us. get out there. here’s a good way to spend sunday getting a little close with someone, and learn a new skill, move your body, and get-to-know-each-other-if-you-know-what-i-mean. and-i-know-you-do. salsa dancing lessons with a live band- the williamsburg salsa orchestra, at brooklyn bowl. $5-8, 8pm.

go forth, young brooklynites

and weekend.

<3L.

the weekend guide: 14-17 july 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 14 Jul 2016 23:00:28 +0000

things i’m doing this weekend… that promise to include sunshine, booze, and rooftops in dangerously imbalanced proportions.

come along, then?

THURSDAY

this is what bastille day looks like, to the revelers.

Bastille Day Celebrations

Dinner at L’Antagoniste, Bed Stuy.

Bastille Day Party at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

i did enough bastille celebrating on sunday to have been speaking fluent french and playing the accordion by nightfall (or at least, i’m pretty sure that’s how it all happened) BUT, the actual day is TODAY. francophiles and french ex-pats units together to celebrate freedom and champagne and baguettes and berets and the best place to do it, tonight, is dinner first at l’antagoniste at 10 malcolm X blvd in bed stuy- participant in french restaurant week and all things …., and then dancing the night away at baby’s all right, 146 broadway in williamsburg. make a reservation here and all party info is here. choose your fête.

Ice Cream Festival, Museum of Food and Drink, Williamsburg.

i scream, you scream, we all scream because it’s a motherfucking ice cream festival at the museum of food and drink. what does that mean? who the hell cares! use your imagination! icecream sculptures, hot fudge pollack-esque tapestries, surrealist landscapes of icesream cones that are actually and metaphysically melting, plus a cafe with iceacream, straightup. (that was an example of how to use your imagination… i cannot promise thatany or all of those things will be present, but just go to this event.) tickets $20 here, 630-8pm at the museum of food and drink, 62 bayard st. i’ll stop the world and melt with you.

Humor Writing Class, Bryant Park Reading Room, Midtown Manhattan.

humor doesn’t come easy to some people. and for those people, there is help. whether you want to write your own comedic screenplay, satirical novel, or just tell better jokes- come to this free class in partnership with gotham writers’ workshop and start making people laugh. i of course will be taking the evening off from instructing. but i trust you’ll be in good hands. 7-830pm, register here, bryant park reading room at 40-42nd st.

Bottoms Up Beer and Yoga at The Well, Bushwick.

well well well, what do we have here? looking to get all twisty with some ladies (and you yourself are a lady…?) this girls pint out event welcomes all levels of drinkers and yogis. $20 gets you a class and your choice of… well, one of over 60 craft beers. but you’ll be all loopy after all of the twists and clamps and inversions so it’s kind of like you get 3 beers and a new perspective. tickets here, at the well, 272 meserole st. bend it don’t break it.

Funny, Sexy, Sad #3 at Molasses Books

a new reading series that’s like the moth, but storytellers must share something that will make you catch your breath- from laughing, crying, or well getting vaguely turned on in an audience of strangers. the art of storytelling never dies for lovers, fights, and raconteurs. find the plot here 8-10pm, 770 hart st, get a hart on.

FRIDAY

The Future is Now, a Sci-Fi Dance Party at the House of Yes, Bushwick.

dance into another dimension and feel ok, for once, about suddenly noticing everyone around you looks a bit alien-ish. take a deep breath and go with it. friday night, a sci-fi dance party of other-worldy proportions. tickets, here. 2 wyckoff ave. at the house of yes– where space travel is an affirmative, captain.

The Persistence of Nudity- A Burlesque Tribute to Salvador Dali,

his paintings are interpretive, addictive, sensual and subversive. and burlesque at the beach brings you a multi-sensory experiential tribute to his works that opens up all the corporal drawers of your subconscious to leave you breathless and misplaced, for the first time, again. friday night, 1208 beach ave, tickets $15 right here. “Take me, I am the drug. Take me, I am hallucinogenic.” – the man.

CHANCES WITH WOLVES, Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

if you don’t already know how i feel about these guys, then you don’t know me and you should work on your reading comprehension. the best dj duo in brooklyn, and to see them these days is a bit of a rarity. they join friends sonny & the sunsetsfriday night at baby’s all right tonight at 10pm fo’ free. which is fucking ridiculous. 641 classon ave, you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. and 110% if wolves are involved.

SATURDAY

The 2016 Water Games at The Well, Bushwick

no one grows up, they just act older because they feel like they have to. case in point: this event, at the well, saturday. adult water balloon fights, water gun battles, djs, dancing, and other things to get wet over. $10 gets you a beer and 30 water balloons and a handful of new enemies. bring your own towel, water gun, and aim. yes there’s a dry tent, yes there’s a request to respect those who don’t want to get wet. yes, for those that want to stay dry there are a plethora of drier options to participate in on saturday. #fuckthedrytent 272 meserole st, 3pm-?? tickets here. the well- where if you get trapped in it, you don’t cry. you fucking dance.

We Are Here- a response concert in honor of Black Lives Matter at National Sawdust, Williamsburg.

because sometimes the only response you can think of to everything happening in our country right now is to put your hand to your heart and close your eyes and wish so badly it would all just stop- this concert, as a response to black lives matter, offers a way to interpret all of the sadness, despair, and inevitably to expose the realities that we have trouble swallowing ourselves. $ all proceeds go to the families of delrawn small, alton sterlino, and philando castile. tickets $20, here. doors at 930pm, show starts at 10. national sawdust, 80 n 6th st. let the music heal you, and let the healing mobilize you.

schwinning all day, all night baby.

Bike Fetish Day, Greenpoint.

fetish (n); an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.

that object is your bike, and the spirit is you, dear friends, fellow riders. let’s face it- everyone has a fetish. and it doesn’t feel so subversive if you are experiencing it not in some dark underground new york club with your work clothes stuffed in a locker and a safe word tucked in the front of your twisted mind, but at an outdoor festival. with bikes. and bike enthusiasts. there is truly nothing more inexplicably magical than riding a bike. let’s all go celebrate it in greenpoint on saturday at the city reliquary, noon-6pm, on havemeyer between hope and grand. i’ll be there with my bike and other friends.

Party Like It’s 1865, Greenwood Cemetery, South Slope.

so here’s what i know. there was a man buried in a really fucking fancy mausoleum in greenwood cemetery back in 1865 and apparently he was the OG. he frequently visited the mausoleums before being interred there and put on some wild ass parties. and now they are honoring him in the creepiest of ways with some fire breathers, contortionists, and a dark-ass creepy good time. at greenwood cemetery, 500 25th st, 7-10pm. tickets, $37 found here. where mah ghouls at?!

SUNDAY

Po-Po’s Fest at Archestratus Books, Greenpoint.

after a 16-hour nonstop flight to taiwan, me and @hannahea88’s first stop in taipei was to a morning food market. why? because taiwan effectively became a tour de foods and we had never heard of such a thing- a morning market! little did i know that… well, there’s one coming just down the street from me. this weekend. so let’s all go together and i’ll annoyingly whisper in your ear that this isn’t nearly as good as taipei BUT- i bet it’s a damn close second. ish. tickets and dumplings and all things lovely, $37 here. 160 huron st– you always know yer on huron when… you’re actually on huron.

Boozy Crafternoon

you know the arts and craft shack at camp was just a creative thatched roof cover for naughty hand-holding and yarn restraints. let’s recreate that, as if for the first time, and add some fucking liquour. sunday, at magick city, 37 box st. where crafts are edgy again!

and then, we sleep brooklyn.

we sleep.

<3L.

10-13 march 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 19:00:17 +0000

things i’m doing this weekend… that very well might all be swallowed into what will be the magnetic pull of mccarren park on the first warm, sunny weekend in a while.

THURSDAY

Music for Wing Walkers at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.

don’t act like you don’t know what a wing walker is. now that we’ve cleared that up, check out this monthly concert series showcasing both established emerging local artists under the big tent out back while drinking established and emerging brews from threes brewing. 333 douglass st, 8-10pm, $10. they put the ass in douglass. (which was so desperately necessary.)

A History of Bed Stuy by Think Olio, Berg’n, Prospect Heights.

what is Think Olio? as they put it, “we set up the best teachers in local venues to hold classes for the price of a movie ticket..” as i like to put it, a really really good use of your time; a podcast without the earbuds. a lecture series without the fearbuds (you know what i mean…) (yeah, i know, neither do i really.) a meetup with a purpose (and sometimes, a porpoise!) come learn about the rich history of one of brooklyn’s last remaining stronghold’s of anti-gentrification, here at the crux of its evolution, as told by a man who loves it and has literally seen it all. sponsored by the beloved knowledge seekers and spreaders at Think Olio. $12, 730-9pm. 899 Bergen St. i think, therefore i o.

image, from rinsed’s exclusive invite list (get on it.)

" data-medium-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?fit=300%2C142&ssl=1" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?fit=563%2C267&ssl=1" loading="lazy" class=" wp-image-759" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?resize=445%2C211" alt="image, from rinsed's exclusive invite list (get on it.)" width="445" height="211" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?w=563&ssl=1 563w, https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?resize=300%2C142&ssl=1 300w, https://i0.wp.com/www.brooklynimtrying.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/rinsed-acid_eastern.jpg?resize=150%2C71&ssl=1 150w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 445px) 100vw, 445px" />

image, from rinsed’s exclusive invite list (get on it.)

RINSED at Good Room, Greenpoint.

i mean, their descriptions of these events always leave just enough up to the imagination to let you know that if you aren’t prepared to attack your night, teeth bared and snarling as you question the very status of your feet on the floor and (supposed) boundaries of walls and gravity and have faith only in the music in your ears and whatever friend or strangers’ eyes meet yours, then you shouldn’t go. let’s attack thursday, brooklyn. all night, at good room- my favorite place to do bad things free before 11pm with enrollment, 98 meserole st. rinse me baby.

FRIDAY

Tosca presented by LoftOpera, an alternative space in Bushwick.

opera in alternative spaces. echoes in alternating chases. incredulous looks among alternative faces. these are all reasons to check out Puccini’s Tosca presented by LoftOpera, bringing you operatic works in… well, venues you wouldn’t expect. oh, and also there’s the fact that you’ve been meaning to elevate your weekend activities since the shame that greeted you with your alarm clock monday morning. $30. 8-11pm, performances march 10, 11, 12. 198 randolph st. you’ll like it better than pirates of penzance.

LuvSoul Launch Party at Art Cafe + Bar, Prospect Heights.

well, this sounds pleasant, although i can’t quite put my finger on what it is. a unification of creative minds with food, music, gaity? plus a jam sesh? and empanadas? and someone named Luis’s birthday? hm, ok! i can literally say no to none of that. 7pm-midnight, 884-886 pacific ave, $10. opposite of “no” is let’s go.

the. naked. show. The Creek and the Cave. Long Island City.

comedians performing in the buff! YES. i suppose maybe they tried too hard to imagine the audience naked and POUF! no more clothes. anyway, it doesn’t matter- get a ticket to this event. there are very very few available. get you some. after party on my roof- clothing optional, as always.1145-130am, the creek and the cave, 10-93 Jackson Avenue, $20. i’m not kidding it’s comedians performing butt-ass naked.

SATURDAY

FREE DONUTS!

this is going to sound ridiculous but i definitely saw something about this, somewhere, earlier. i’ll update it as soon as i find out where, or i will simply eat all of the free donuts. and hoard them for my dedicated readers who leave a sweet comment here. below. on the post. (do it.)

lay in the grass in mccarren park.

all day. free. it’s going to be beautiful. i’ll bring an extra towel, find me there.

via smorgasburg.com

via smorgasburg.com

Winter Flea + Smorgasburg, Industry City.

winter is just about over which is dope- except, your chances to check out the brooklyn flea + smorgasburg bazaar bonanza at industry city are lessening. get down there as soon as possible. all you need to know is that it’s bigger than the outdoor version, plus you don’t have to be cordoned into a leper colony to drink your beer. also, there are other things you might want to know about it right here. 10am-6pm every saturday and sunday, 241 37th st.

plus, take a tour of industry city distillery and stay for there saturday night concert series…

Brass Tacks, Winter Concert Series at Industry City Distillery, Sunset Park.

if you haven’t been down here, you owe it to yourself. in a collection of massive industrial warehouses right on the southern peninsula of brooklyn, industry city distillery has one of the best views of the city you’ve never seen, plus they distill some damn good vodka from beet sugar molasses. (yep!) and saturday come see their brass tacks concert series featuring tipsy oxcart and emperor norton’s stationary marching band. $10, 8pm. get there early for the tour! 6-10pm. 33 35th st, 6th floor. d-still my heart.

image via drinkicd.com

image via drinkicd.com

Show & Tale- Morbid Anatomy. Freddy’s Bar and Backroom, Park Slope.

i love anything dark and hairy. and not just my men- storytelling events as well! this one, haunting and twisted and full of once-living materials encourages a three-minute showing and telling presenting something once-living. in the backroom at freddy’s saloon, where i’ve died, twice i think. 627 fifth ave, 6-745pm. make poe proud.

SUNDAY

Ten Year Anniversaparty at Mulholland Sports Bar, Williamsburg.

they made this image, i didn’t.

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they made this image, i didn’t.

ah, the only thing i absolutely don’t want after a weekend of boozing is beer… that i have to pay for. FREE BEER. sunday. come celebrate williamsburg’s favorite sports bar’s 10th anniversary with free beer 6-9pm, plus brooklyn-based artists spun all night. it’s brooklyn themed. which might mean i’ll be jumping out of the cake, it also might not mean that. (did i mention 22 taps of free beer?) see you there. squares. 312 grand st, 6-9pm.

also, tomorrow’s pi day– make some pies for the people you love. like these spinach pies that i will be making for only select coworkers.

where to eat this weekend

Llama Inn, 50 Withers St, Williamsburg.

i literally stumbled into this charming little terrarium under the BQE last sunday seeking sustenance and ended up… well, mocking it a bit while i sat at the bar with a friend. we had just come from pete’s candy store’s open mic and before that night of joy’s backroom and before that extra fancy’s brunchthis photo is from llama inn’s unbelievably charming website.

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and after all of that moved on to lake st, so to put it lightly, i wasn’t in the mood for fancy fanfare or to be told every seat in the house was either reserved or was a barstool that wasn’t meant for sitting. at the bar. HOWEVER, goddamn the food and cocktails were good. and the decor was- well, it was cool man. i was giggly and drunk, but i appreciated every bit of it and plan to go back for the goat neck this weekend, less tipsy and more appreciative. join me?

where to drink this weekend

The Django, 2 Ave of the Americas, TriBeCa.

also your *reason to cross the river this weekend* check out The Django, the new underground jazz club in the cellar of the roxy hotel in tribeca. Inspired by classic Jazz Age Parisian boîtes (and I don’t think I need to remind you how I feel about paris, france, boites, or… I don’t know, bichon frises eating firsee salads.) the dark, seductive, and slightly rugged space offers exemplary acoustics and this weekend (starting Thursday!) Is hosting brooklyn I’m trying favorite Stephane Wrembel. Check it out- I’ll be there, tonight! 2 Ave of the Americas, TriBeCa.

photo, from the django. not from me.

photo, from the django. not from me.

3-6 march 2016.

Liz Norment — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 20:15:31 +0000

things i’m doing this weekend… other than not even getting close to conceding to the debilitating chill winter continues to throw at us.

THURSDAY

The Loaded Canon Reading Series, Brooklyn Oenology, Williamsburg.

be part of the fermentation process as some of brooklyn’s best up-and-coming writers share their raw and unfinished works in progress among seasoned ears, palpable spirits, and aged wines. swirl your glass as you interpret the sediments and sentiments. it’s a message in a bottle, out of a bottle, near a bottle… you get it… and this series is the first vintage, so be a part of it. 7pm at brooklyn oenology, 209 wythe ave, free. live and uncorked.

photo from http://thelcreadingseries.com/

i Love Vinyl at the Panther Room, Williamsburg.

scratch all of your well-intentioned thursday plans and head to the panther room to get a little wild. everyone’s favorite party group and dedicated vinyl-spinners (as the name suggests) bring you the best party you’re going to find to start off your weekend with bad intentions. as always, laptop free, and no cover. 74 wythe ave, at the panther room at output. 10pm until your conscious catches up to you. spin.

FRIDAY

Miike Snow at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.

if you have tickets to this, please let me have them. please. i have some official reporting to do on the show. as compensation, i will hum a recap of the show for you over drinks at no name afterward. capesce? 261 driggs ave, 8pm. (this is where the sold-out tickets would be, if you must know.)

…ah dear loyal constituency, i have you all eating out of the palm of my outstretched hands. (right?)

BangOn NYC Sessions 001, House of YES, Bushwick.

i don’t know man. i feel like the very nature of the warehouse party includes the risk of contracting hepatitis, an overall lack of useable restrooms, relentless sweating, silent and audible camaraderie, and unspoken secrecy. granted apparently these guys have been in the “underground scene” for 75 years (wasn’t everything “underground” then? like, literally subterranean?) but their parties boast professional aerialists, fire performers, and other combinations worthy of stefon’s reporting on weekend update. and, it is being fucking broadcasted?!?! AH. i am so mad right now. anyway, i mean. sounds kinda dope. let’s just not put it in the warehouse category, let’s put it in the adult circus category. then i’m ok with it. 2 wykcoff ave, 10pm-5am. flambe me, baby. if you must.

SATURDAY

Run Street Art Run, Williamsburg.

nothing can tempt me to get out of bed at 10am on a saturday. literally nothing. but, if something was to give it a really really good try, it would be this event. like extreme museum-going, get your jog on while checking out some of the borough’s best street art.. i just hope i finish mine up by 9 (i enjoy doing my street art at dawn, if you must know.) showcase starts at Brooklyn Running Company, 222 grand st. run amuk bk.

Weaving 101 at Better Than Jam, Bushwick.

you know that feeling that’s been looming around you for years now- could you actually create a textile from a bunch of yarns if you had to? if gentrification continues as it is, and macrame wall hangings increase in cost at an aggressive incline, and we keep maintaining relationships with no strings attached, we will need to learn to work our looms. fast- start here. learn basic weaving techniques and come home with a wall hanging. oh, and your own loom. you take it home. so it can loom around your apartment. $125 includes all the supplies you need and a lifetime of useful knowledge. 20 grattan st, 2-6pm. don’t you ever weave me.

Festival of Colors Warm-Up at National Sawdust, Williamsburg.

so maybe the color run and all of its offshoots have watered down this historic and colorful cultural celebration. but maybe brooklyn’s hip new art space is bringing it back, warming it up, and preparing you for the colorful welcoming of springtime. no maybe about it. it’s happening. and you want to be a part of it. the festival of colors warm up at national sawdust- come bare-skinned and pale. 80 N 6th st. thaw out, baby.

photo via @holinyc

HOW SAD at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.

one of my favorite things about living in brooklyn is how you happen to see that an amazing band will be playing just down the street. how sad. how happy! makes that rent worth (almost) every penny. let’s all go to this- $12, 830 to 1130pm, 146 broadway. with ski lodge and salt cathedrals. get tickets QUICK, and here.

and here’s a song to play on repeat, LOUD, until the show.

SUNDAY

So Far Sounds, “secret location” in the LES.

if there was anything to shake me from my hangover and bring me into this weekend’s *reason to cross the river* i suppose it would be a BYOB music event, that claims to “bring the magic back to live music” with a location announced only hours before the event. oh, manhattan- it’s cute how much you want to be brooklyn. regardless this is dope and i’m voluntarily participating. VAMOS. (also, sign up for ALL of their other events.)

Stitch and Bitch Baby, The Living Gallery, Bed Stuy.

you got a sewing project you’re stuck on? hit a brick wall with your knitting? went on a bad tinder date? appalled at the super tuesday results? do you need to express your disdain for socks to a fresh set of ears while knitting booties? well well well- don’t worry. do it among strangers all wielding sharp objects, perhaps a bit hungover, at the living gallery, 11am-2pm, 1094 broadway. bring your project, and a thimble.

The Holy Smokes at Pete’s Candy Store, Williamsburg.

it’s a rock concert in its purest form, at the sweetest spot in williamsburg. $5 suggested donation- band goes on at 8pm but arrive at 5 onward for brooklyn’s best open mic, tried and true. 709 Lorimer st. two chords and the truth.

photo via petescandystore.com

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photo via petescandystore.com

where to drink this weekend

Sunshine Laundromat, 860 Manhattan Ave.

ah, speakeasy’s, household chores- allow me to introduce the two of you. along with my good friends pinball machine and loose change. if you want to be clean but also secretive, if you want to spend your money on chance and also a spin cycle, if your normal routine is a bit dry, if you feel like you can come up with literally endless scenarios about a laundromat-meets-arcade-meets-speakeasy-meets-boy-meets-girl, then please leave it in the comment area. because i am having to stop myself as i gather my dirty clothes and quarters. i’ll drink to that.

where to eat this weekend

Sakura 6, 837 Manhattan Ave.

brooklyn, i’m trying to keep you warm on a cold, cold night. and so is sakura 6- via shitty hot sake, unlimited, with the purchase of dinner. this place offers above-average sushi among a literal 50/50 grab of truly aggressively hospitable or positively abhorrent service, seemingly seasonless christmas lights, and a too-loud soundtrack that sounds like the score of the still-in-production-mode film “oh hey! it’s christmas at jurassic park and the griswolds are here with foam swords and a noble mission. and i’m quite sure there’s a crouching tiger or hidden dragon just there in the distance”. i love this place. i love it. it’s the first restaurant i ever ate at in brooklyn and just may be the last… just not any time soon. GO.