this whole city is alive and illuminated for us. you see these lights and and you feel it and you love it and it’s the holidays and then all at once you realize you haven’t even paid your rent for december and maybe haven’t even started your christmas shopping and how the hell are you going to even get home for christmas at this point and even so you’ll be empty handed so… so now what?
well brooklyn, i have to be honest. i wrote that up there about myself. i have no gift to give you, and i sure as fuck don’t have a drum to play, so um… i wrote you this weekend guide. let’s get drunk off egg nog or spiced cider or old fashioned’s and hold hands and be merry and spread cheer and wassail like we’ve never wassailed before.
gettin’ what you want can be dangerous. especially when it’s chairlift. playing tonight. in greenpoint. along with mister twin sister and junglepussy and it’s what you’re doing tonight. tickets, $25, available here. show starts at 8pm, meet at my place for drinks before. because i live a block away. and i like you if you like chairlift. 98 meserole st at good room – my favorite place to do bad things.™
i find myself often waxing poetic about where i’m from… so much fantastic music, every night of the week. amazing art galleries and museums. a been-burgeoning food scene. i speak of these things yet i live in new york. that’s because, richmond is damn charming. and part of it heads north to grace us with some southern charm and rhythm and a psychadelic type of blues at knitting factory. alongside the courtesy tier and the kristys, and for only $10, you seriously can’t miss this show. 8-1130pm, tickets and all other info right here for you sweet thang. 361 metropollitan ave at the knitting factory.
holidays got you feelin’ a little too festive? all these holiday parties have you taking merriment to a whole new level? have you found yourself gleefully singing christmas songs in public settings? let’s balance that shit out at archestratus’s celebration of bitterness friday night. no, this isn’t going to be all scroogetastic, it’s to celebrate the unsung heroes of the flavor world, the bitters! and it’s to wipe that motherfucking smirk off your face. $60 gets you a six-course meal plus a better understanding of our bitter little friends. tickets and menu preview here. 7-10pm. 160 huron st.
yep, that’s at a church. with friar bartenders. but in the brooklyn way, we might as well go to the source. sinning and asking for forgiveness at the same time. and place. having a bit of the sacrament and the poison. and dance yrself clean, or dirty, there’s no judgement there. that of course is reserved for the big guy. support your local
radio station … parking lot … party … radio station … church … radio station (can i get a witness?) party starts tonight at 8:30pm, doors at 8. tickets, $11.14, all other info here. 85 N 15th st. at the san damiano mission, breaking bread and breaking barriers.™ (i didn’t make that one up, it’s actually on their website…) mission accepted.
I Feel: The Royal Slumber Party, at a Secret Location in Brooklyn.
listen, imma tell you straight up… i don’t exactly know what’s going on here. it’s a sluber party? it’s an all-night rager? it’s a nocturnal group of sensitive royals fans? it’s actually a palace of feelings? i have no fucking clue but what i do know is it seems edgy and out there and it’s happening right here in brooklyn. where? well i don’ tknow that either. buy a ticket right here right now and the location will be revealed to you. sexy costumes encouraged. decipher all of this for yourself here. 10pm-6am, somewhere in
you know, the thing i really have about the holidays is that there is a distinct lack of drag queens. and aerial dancers dressed as reindeer. actual dicks in actual boxes. an intergalactic interactive immersive shopping experience and a chance to sit on santa’s lap, in a dirty way, and not feel bad about it. thankfully house of yes has swooped down and answered all of my holiday gripes with the holiday christmas spectacular. this immersive theater experience promises to make any dull in your holiday sparkle, irrepressibly. all info and tickets here, $35-50. i will be there live covering the event, so don’t miss it baby. 2 wyckoff ave at house of yes, where the naughty list was a good starting off point.™
we live here because we have the entire world at our fingertips. there are so many artists and visionaries collaborating to create amazing experiences for our entertainment and sense of wonder. saturday night brings us some of the best. our good friends at loftopera enter the mast brothers chocolate factory for a performance like no other. Macbeth in a stunning, historic factory space that smells like chocolate. $40 gets you in the door and witnessing some of the most beautiful performing mixed with the soul-shaking acoustics only a warehouse in the navy yard can provide. GO SEE THIS, tonight.. tickets and info here. 7-10pm in the brooklyn navy yard, building #128. at loftopera, where everything is just a bit higher than you planned.
of course, grab a drink at the gatehouses before. it’s one of my favorite bars in the hood.
Birre + Ballz at Archestratus Books, NoGreePo.
scratch a few people off that list of gift-needers at the beloved cookbook shop in nogreepo. plus, the lovely traidtion of saturaday’s beer and arancini balls help take the edge right off of holiday shopping. pop in, stay for a while, get lost in some stunning books of recipes and get a little tipsy. free ball with every beer, hours. 160 huron st. at Archestratus, where with a name like that, who needs a blogger to invent a catchy little slogan!™
brunch market? night bazaar? where the fuck am i, taiwan? looks like ridgewood has figured out how to adopt these two amazing cultural traditions and bring them across le pond at the ridgewood market. come for brunch, stay until the wee hours with all of the greatest artisans, foods, crafts, gifts, and dranks your little holiday heart desires. free entry, 11-11 (just like the krispy kreme hot light bling) other info here, 657 fairview ave at gottscheer hall- you need cheer, we gottscheer!™
Ukulele Holida Sing-a-long at a J.Crew.
oh look! it’s a retailer trying to drag you into its doors during the holiday season by masking their price gouging with frostee the snowman and ukuleles and arts and crafts and a santa visit. instead, just give to the charity that sponsors this event here, and then go visit one of our beautiful holiday markets and spend your money supporting local artisans. i’ve made a guide for you. suck it j.crew.
fake it til you make it. or, have others make it and then fake like it was your discerning eye that gave it magic as all of your last-minute gift needs are answered this saturday. the makers market swoops in to rescue you, featuring hundreds of artisans and the goods they make right here in bk. plus, free shipping! just bring a bag and able legs. happening at the williamsburgh savings bank, 175 broadway, 11am, free with RSVP! all other info here. at the brooklyn makers market – now we’ve really made it!™
what could be better than observing art, with a purpose? observing it with a porpoise? ok ok you got me there but only one of these options is available saturday. and i’ll never tell which it is but i recommend you find out. it’s the amazing brooklyn museum scavenger hunt and it’s where you want to be sending your afternoon.$39, 1230-330pm. all info and tickets here. 200 eastern pkwy.
you know you love christmas films. it just doesn’t get any better than this exact scene, unless of course you added muppets and a classic storyline and it was showing for free at the harbor in jersey city. with complimentary facepainting and crafts. food and drinks for purchase. all details right here, 1-4pm, film begins at 2pm, at the Harborside Atrium, 147 Harborside Financial Center Platform.
Hook at the School of Visual Arts in the East Village, Manhattan.
prefer pirates and ferries and kidnappings and crossing the river only once? dat coo’ boo. there’s somethin’ for you too. free screening of Hook at the SVA just might be your only reason to cross the river this weekend. all additional info here, 2-430pm, 333 w 23rd st.
Tito’s Tasting at Grain & Vine, Williamsburg.
it’s going to be damn cold this weekend… so maybe you’re looking for something a little boozier and a little closer to home? check out the tito’s tasting at Grain & Vine in. yeah, it’s vodka, but it’s small batch and 6 times distilled and guaranteed to make you warmer than you were when you arrived. tasting is 630-930pm, 190 union ave.
the acme fish facility in greenpoint has been smokin’ up in our town long before we have been. keepin’ things stinky and showin us their cans. [insert other fish puns here, or add your own in the comments section please no one ever leaves comments and it’s all i want for christmas] greenpoint beer and ale is teaming up with them for their annual smoked fish + beer tasting. $30 gets you 4 tastings and pairings and plenty of funky beer breath for making out under the mistletoe. mmm. all info here, it’s happening 2-5pm at 7 north 15th st.
i always have such an adverse fear of the wintertime settling in, but then i realize that there are so many activities that all of a sudden i don’t feel bad being cozied up in an intimate bar instead of playing outside. barbes was made for cold sunday nights, and stephane wrembel’s music has you hanging on every single note and anecdote, transporting you through the streets of paris and the beauty of spain until temperature is relative and monday is never fucking coming. (it isn’t, if you don’t believe in it.) he usually goes on at 9pm. bring cash for the tip bucket and a thirst for good beers. 376 9th ave at barbes.
it’s happening tonight too. read above description and GO. trust me.