for the glass ceiling that wasn’t broken, we find ourselves coming together, in a land that we realize now was more broken than we imagined. and although our hearts may still be aching, our spirits are lifting and our voices are rising to be heard. so let’s raise our glasses full of spirits and our voices full of hope to help mend this land, Thursday night at Broken Land. you know, that really great fucking bar on franklin st, in greenpoint.
sure they’re usually known for their frozen drinks, but thursday’s event aims to warm our hearts and ignite a fire under our asses that we won’t let burn out, especially for the next four years. Trump, Keep Out is part of an ongoing series of benefitsfor planned parenthood, where they gracious owner and bartenders will sacrifice what is always quite a profitable night in this drunk town and give 100% of the proceeds to this vitallyimportantcause. and we all know that is reason enough for you to choose to go seek inebriation, retaliation, communication, and perhaps a new partner in fornication (come on, the best way to love your body is to let it get a little lovin‘) at such a locale on thursday night. they have provided some audacious incentives. prizes will be auctioned off from glasserie, shag sex shop, dandelion wine, beacons closet, and plenty of other neighborhood haunts where you choose that make your body feel wild and free and worthy. the charming elizabeth weitzen of shag playhouse and members of her oh-so-charming burlesque company will be making sure you don’t stop believing in the cause all night. there will be a dj dance party by LYLAS spinning all your favorite hip-hop, r&b, and 80s and 90s dance tunes to make sure those hips keep moving all night. oh and the drink specials won’t hurt. the event is free so come thirsty.
love your body. fight for your rights. go to this event.
Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
…and then let me see if I can’t turn things around for them?
this quote of course is inscribed on that proud little lady in the right side of this photo I captured, but all the rest of the content is taken straight from the lady sitting behind her little laptop. or perched upon her bicycle, exploring the city in search of a better weekend for us all. I too have been called somewhat of a beacon of hope, a statuesque stronghold, the greatest gift france ever gave to america.
i will let you decide what, if any, of those things are true.
in the mean time, embark on a good honest weekend. i’ll be here, constantly vigilant.
AHOY, brooklyn. (ahoy.)
Lagunitas Brewing presents a dope free show at the Brooklyn Night Bazaar, Greenpoint.
from the people who put the “pub” in public radio, who make the best IPA in this nation budding with hoppy competition, and the “lagunita” in the little lake of peepee you tend to make after having too much beer, lagunitas brewery comes to the brooklyn night bazaar thursday with a free event. why? because since the bazaar was moved out of its space, shows can only be free when (kind-hearted) sponsors who also sell dope shit come along to help out. unlike that other “sponsor” who did the opposite of helping out. so let’s all go and have beers and see self defense family, jesus piece, pawns, and glory. 7pm, all info here. 150 greenpoint ave at the night bazaar.
Swatch Party at Good Room, Greenpoint.
NO ONE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR STUPID SWATCH CLUB.
but i mean if it’s a party at good room, i’ll do what i have to do. come to this. i know nothing more about it, but it’s thursday and friday and well… i’ll be swatching our for you. 98 meserole ave. at good room – where you don’t have to be bad to get in but… nothing feels better.™
Tainted Love, 80s Dance Party at the Bell House, Gowanus.
this tainted love you give… it’s so, so much better than no love at all. let’s go move it and shake it at the bell house for 980s dance night, the cure for well… thursday nights with no love at all. event is free, 10pm until the love runs out. or the taints come out. either way, i ain’t gonna be caught with my pants down. info here. 149 7th st at the bell house – you rang?™
Bob Moses at Terminal 5, in that rather shitty area of manhattan.
two reasons to go to this show – 1. bob moses is dope as shit and his music toes that stunningly listenable line between r&b and electronic, soulful beats and laid with languid harmonies. 2. imma be there homey. and this chick too. tickets. here. show starts at … if for some reason you still ahve doubt, well nevermind then don’t go. but if you want to listen and get pumped up before the show here. at terminal 5- where every beginning feels like the end.
60 Shots for 60 Shorts Power Hour at Creek and Cave, Long Island City.
i don’t know about you, but i never want to do a power hour again. i mean really – there are so many more inventive ways to get fucked up than chugging shots of beers and ending up bloated and burpy and completely sauced at some frat party. we’ve all grown up and maybe, the concept of the power hour also has. (also, this isn’t to be confused with the hour of power… of course). party boys chris donahue and … compiled 1-minute shorts by 60 comedians for your viewing and drinking pleasure… and between each act you have to take a shot of beer. or you know, just laugh and sip. and be called a fucking weenie. tickets and info here, $5. show and beer drinking begin at 10pm. 10-93 jackson ave, at creek + cave.
Dave Chapelle’s Block Party “Screening” (but actually it’s another party) in Fort Greene Park.
OUTDOOR MOVIES AREN’T DEAD. they’re just chilled out a bit.
let this be a lesson, to all of us. just like spike lee and dave chappelle, and bill murray’s appearances, when you make something big of your life, come back and have unannounced amazing parties in brooklyn. dave chapelle did this in clinton hill, the area where he grew up, back in 2004 and invited tons of awesome pals. see the documentary film about the night and the man himself right in the ‘hood where it all went down (and sorry, but doesn’t it seem like this is just going to become another “random” block party?? YEP. i’m not missing it this time and neither should you.) here’s how not to miss it. 645-845pm, fort greene park, myrtle ave and st. edwards st.
Glass Animals at Music Hall of Williamsburg.
is sold out both nights.
just wanted to dig that knife a little bit more, that’s all.
let’s commiserate right next door at one of my favorite spots in williamsburg, cubana social. 70 N 6th st. live music, killer mojitos, and some of the best empanadas in town. #glassanimalswho #jkstillfuckinghurts #bad
Richard Avedon, Moving Image, Exhibit at the Cadillac House, SoHo.
if you aren’t familiar with richard avedon’s unbelievable life’s work of stunning photography, then just trust me- you want to go to this exhibit. besides it’s your only reason to cross the river this weekend. avedon’s portraiture is unnerving and monumental. he would photograph celebrities for hours on end, having them sit or stand and vaguely pose until their exhaustion and annoyance took over and finally that moment where the humanity leaked through the facade and SNAP. there it would be. oh and also- he was easily the authority of fashion photography for his 60-year career. see some of his stuff here and then head QUICK to the final night of his exhibit at the cadillac house, 330 hudson st. 10am-7pm. info and such here.
we work hard in this city, and that’s the beauty and downfall of new york- no one is here because they just ‘ended up here’. we’re here because we have something to believe in, to fight for, to work towards. and well, we’ve come a long way, baby. and it’s about time that someone recognized it. this labor day weekend, let’s reap the fruit of our labors. let’s weep for the labors that we’ve had to put in just for our fruits to blossom. and then die. before we could even retrieve them. let’s experience everything that this city has to offer beyond the confines of our cubicles! let’s close our laptops and leave our to-do lists undone and not even put up an out of office and let’s never look back brooklyn.
(are you picturing me on a soapbox in front of the statue of liberty holding a bottle of champagne with a slight tear in my eye?)
(oh… well, are you doing that now?)
ok you unimaginitive little beasts- lighten up and read on.
and let’s fucking get to work.
Thursday Supper at the Farm on Kent, Williamsburg.
sure, maybe it feels to early to celebrate the apple harvest, but it seems that our dear corporate companions did not hesitatated to stuff mini crunch bars and plastic jackolanterns and pumpkin spice everything down our throats just after easter. SO, let’s gently start our fall harvest celebrations with something beautiful and wholesome and pure. thursday night brings us a cider dinner at the beautiful north brooklyn farms. dine outside with pre-fall bounty from the garden and cider pairings from aaron burr cidery. **ATTN** these dinners are sold out for the next few months, so go to this one tonight, 7-1030pm.tickets, here – $100 gets you an unbelievable meal, cider pairings, and one of the few unobstructed views we still have of the east river. 320 kent ave. QUICK GO GO GO. cider?!?! i ‘ardly knew ‘er!
New York Salsa Congress, all over the city, all weekend.
with all of the club-bumping we lose ourselves into each weekend, celebrate instead this stunning form of artistic expression. this weekend is the annual new york salsa congress, featuring free lessons, showcasing some of the greatest salsa dancers from all over the world, hours of open dancing with live bands and each night offering an after party that starts at 3am. nothing is more captivating or seductive than salsa dancing, and i guarantee it will heat up in a much better way than the panther room at output. events schedule, tickets, and a bunch of other stuff to get you pumped found here.
Archestratus Blue Plate Special, Greenpoint.
this week’s sicilian family dinner at archestratus was, at press time (and maybe until you arrive!) TBD- which means that you are going to have to go on the faith that everything is magic inside of archestratus and family-style dinners in nogreepo are always a good idea and paige knows what she’s doing. (that’s a pretty good bet) 7-10pm – full plates and homemade bread, alcoholic bevvies for sale. 160 huron st.
Black Rock Brooklyn at House of Yes, Bushwick.
are you sick of all of the mystical and dustily epic burning man images from all of your friends this past week? i’ll be honest, i’m not. but, i can’t keep from imagining myself in some rainbow-bright-meets-the-rocketeer-meets-the-rockettes-esque costume zooming around on my bicycle-turned-batmobile-turned-aladins-magic-carpet. lets turn all of those pure imagination-fueled images into reality and burn it down together at the house of yes friday night. it’s a burn event for all of us who could’t make it. there will be costumes and playa bikes and more black lights and wild decor than ever and also all of those things you think you could expect at burning man itself. but then we all go home at the end of the night, or to an after hours party… up to you. free before 11pm, or tickets $15, here. 2 wykoff ave. at the house of yes- where they don’t take no for an answer.
Grand Opening, Greenpoint Fish + Lobster, Long Island City.
for all of the wonder and fishy enjoyment and oyster tacos and raw bar delights that greenpoint fish co has been bringing to us for the past 3 years, it’s time we shared a bit of love with our neighbors to the north. greenpoint fish + lobster opens a long island city outpost that promises to offer more seating, some grab and go options for you laborers, plus all the best specials and taco tuesday with a gansett deals you know and love. grand opening is friday. go celebrate, then go back. so i can have my motherfucking spot back at the greenpoint location. (hey! just kidding! come sit with me!) 5-43 48th Ave at Vernon Blvd.
The Last Fireworks of the Season at Coney Island.
the worst things about summer ending? the sidewalk simply doesn’t replace the boardwalk. getting a hot dog from a hot dog stand feels desperate, not noble, and not as easy to blame sudden loud noises on fireworks with a hopeful smile. (man that got depressing fast) well let’s get our last fill this friday at coney island. sun, sand, fireworks, hot dogs, bearded ladies and bearded men! roller coasters! baseball! skeeball! skeezy balls! come onnnn! last fireworks show of the season starts at 930pm, at W 10th st at coney island. all other events and cool things, here.
Mets vs Nationals at Citifield, Flushing, Queens.
come meet the mets, and me! at the mets game. i’ll be signing autographs and giving you exclusive weekend events access, plus plenty of BiT schwag up in row 528! come on down! and then up! game starts at 705pm. helmet nachos start at 706pm. at citifiled, tickets, here. take me out to the ballll game! or wherever… just as long as you take me out.
Rule of III Pop-Up at Duke’s Annex, Greenpoint.
that little room of requirement attached to duke’s liquour box (which is room of requirement in and of itself) opens its magical doors again friday night and keeps them open, all september long, for “rule of III” a pop-up assemply of handmade fasions, beauty, and wellness experiences by local brooklyn creative collective. come by and be inspired, be transformed… then get a little bit of whiskey and get friskey. opening is friday, 12-9pm. 170 franklin st.
First Friday’s with El Jefe’s Nachoria at The Diamond, Brooklyn.
nachos cheese torched before your eyes, just after they ask for it. because they are naughty nachos that give themselves away for free. go, partake. i won’t tell anyone. nachoing begins at 730pm. beers run all day, all night. 43 franklin st. get tipsy and chipsy. then maybe a little lipsy. (just not in poughkeepsie.)
i’m worried about us, brooklyn. about all of us. that pleasant little breeze that’s been in the air, licking our skin and whispering in our ears, “feels good, doesn’t it?” well it might as well be the kiss of death. it’s coming brooklyn.
i don’t want to stop seeing your knees.
so let’s shed our clothing with our inhibitions and show off that summer skin all the way to the end, holding hands and listening to this song and not looking back, even once.
you’re getting warmer already….
Loaded Canon Reading Series at Brooklyn Oenology, Williamsburg.
may this photo serve as evidence that wine and storytelling are impossible to separate. so many tales from these weathered boots and bota, from this inimitable truth comes thursday night’s loaded canon reading series at brooklyn oenology. it’s literature and storytelling meet cocktails and wine meeting all of you meeting each other. this series focuses on the unfinished works from the city’s rising generation of authors, and the fresh and untested words will juxtapose the earthy, complex, and matured wines flawlessly. 6-9pm at brooklyn oenology, 209 wythe ave. because you can’t spell raconteur without oenology having a little wine first.
Vegan Blue Plate Dinner at Archestratus, Greenpoint.
family dinner goes vegan at archestratus thursday night, as owner Paige Lipari attempts to prove that sicilian food can stand alone without meats and cheeses. and egg products. and meats. come thursday for this family style meal of homemade calzones, plus bread and beer and wine, at one of my favorite places in greenpoint. $17 for the plate, drinks are for sale, all info here. 7-9pm, 160 huron st.
DJ Reaganomics at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.
the olympics inspired us to do a lot, inspire us to be more active, show us that any goal, no matter how seemingly insurmountable, is attainable, and make international diplomacy seem within our reach, among other things. but with all this rio coverage i haven’t been able to get that samba out of my hips. and i want to try to work some of it out, with you, at threes brewing. meet me thursday night for dj reaganomics, spinning all of your favorites samba, salsa, mambo, basically everything you need to loosen up those hips and make some bad decisions. it’s free, 333 douglass st, at threes brewing- i’ll try anything thrice.™
Dirty Thursday at House of Yes, Bushwick.
i don’t know about you but once the heat wave lifted i’ve felt a bit too clean, a bit too unsweaty. and i had a handy cleaner come monday and she did the standard mild-to-average bit of cleaning, and i’ve only told three four lies this week. i’m too clean. i don’t want to wait until friday to get dirty, ya heard? join me thursday at the house of yes for dirty thursday, their weekly opportunity to make the baddest of decisions, with all of your closest friends and future one-night-stands, plus an outdoor garden, djs all night, and cheap cheap drinks. get down and dirty fo’ free, all info here, 1-pm-2am, 2 wyckoff ave. at the house of yes– they put the sensual in consensual.™
Party at San Damiano Mission, Greenpoint.
yep, that’s at a church. with friar bartenders. but in the brooklyn way, we might as well go to the source. sinning and asking for forgiveness at the same time. and place. having a bit of the sacrament and the poison. and dance yrself clean, or dirty, there’s no judgement there. that of course is reserved for the big guy. party starts tonight at 8:30pm, doors at 8. suggested donation at the door- $10, cash or credit. all other info here. 21 nassau ave. at the san damiano mission, “meeti…” (i didn’t make that one up, it’s actually on their website…)
Taculitos Pop-Up at Brooklyn Safe House, Greenpoint.
there is nothing safe about the brooklyn safe house. and not in the “hey babe, take a walk on the wild side” kind of way. it’s bad in there. but something about taculitos makes my little butt come a runnin’. every friday night, these babies pop up and serve you the cutest and most asstastic taculitos you’ve ever eaten. go there, i guess. maybe take one to go. i’m probably just going to hold my breath and reach my hand in the doorway and get my taco and run for the hills. 120 franklin st, 7pm-1am. check out their hilarious instagram here, then get your sweet little ass there.
Miss Favela, dance parties every weekend, Williamsburg.
this place, every friday and saturday. the caipirinhas are flowing and the hips are moving and everyone is sweating and it’s my dream come true, right under the williamsburg bridge. salsa, samba, mamba, mamas. llamas. let’s go- 57 S 5th st,
ok folks let’s check in here. it’s august 18th- how many hot dogs have you had this summer? at what shade is your summer skin? do you know where your unborn children are? well not to panic here or anything but TIME IS RUNNING OUT. get out there and make some bad decisions and get a sunburn and smother yourself in mustard. and then rinse off in a chilled rosé shower. and then jump in the ocean, or hug a stranger or I DON’T KNOW ok? but i’m panicking. let’s all take a deep breath of this hot luscious august air and attack these last few weeks, together. with our sweaty palms squished tightly against each other.
come with me. and don’t you dare look back.
Happy Hour at The Break Vintage, Bushwick.
maybe your ass has been all over bushwick, but here’s a chance to leave your mark. and to drink free rosé. and to get mad discounts on amazing vintage. how is all of this possible? because when the break vintage has an end of summer sale and they add free wine, washable body paint, and thongs to create beautiful butt art. on the walls. this is how we do things here in brooklyn, and trust me- this event will be all its cracked up to be. 574 bogart st, #312. 5-8pm, info here. the break vintage is trying to break your heart. just like wilco.
REVEAL at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.
the warsaw is an old polish national house in greenpoint where you can see everything from monsters wrestling, community bingo night, and progressive musicians doing progressive things. thursday night will transform the cafeteria-event hall into an exhibit showcasing the best current and local artists in film, fashion, music, art, performance and everything else it says in that handy graphic above. there will be a runway show, a medley of live music, interactive visual art galleries and living hair and makeup statuettes on pedestals that will make you question hair, makeup, and humanity. go to this event and be amazed at the limitless nature of art and performance. tickets, $20 can be purchased here. hang up the hooligan garb you normally wear to the warsaw, it’s cocktail attire. so get fancy. 7-11pm, 261 driggs. info and tickets here. because nothing says raw like cocktail dresses and human statuettes.
Pizza Night at Archestratus Books, Greenpoint.
it’s nothing new to have odd conglomeration/fusion of things in this city- we’re pressed for space but not for creativity. so north greenpoint’s bookstore-bar-restaurant-eventspace is bringing you everything you’ve ever wanted in one charming little space. thursday night is monthly build-your-own-pizza night with 20 locally procured toppings to choose from and chef allie laporte of wilson daniels to give you a wine pairing for your unique creation. $16/pie, beer, wine, and vermouth for purchase. 7-9pm. all info here, 160 huron st. at archestratus,
Olympics Viewing Party and Photography Exhibit, Brooklyn Museum, Prospect Heights.
if you haven’t taken the opportunity to tune out all of this political bullshit and celebrate america and watch the olympics, there is hope for you not. and you are a curmudgeon. for everyone else, come watch the olympics in a rad sculpture garden and then be moved by the photography exhibit Who Shot Sports, a collection of prolific photos from the olympics, 1843-present. 8-10pm, free, 200 eastern parkway. info here.
Out for Drinks with Orr Shtuhl at Archestratus, Greenpoint.
i remember my first beer. and have a feeling that i will remember the one i have friday night, at archestratus, but i gotta be honest- i’ve forgotten a hell of a lot of the ones in between. make and share some memories at everyone’s favorite bookstore in NoGreePo. Orr Stuhl shares his love of beers, brewing, and the persistance of memory- and how alcohol inevitably affects it. $14 includes a beer, all info here, 7pm at archestratus books, 160 huron st.
End of Summer Party, Bushwick Public House, Bushwick.
it’s mid-august in brooklyn, not september in ibiza. there is absolutely no need to promote everything as if it’s the last weekend and we’re never going to see sunlight or bare knees again. however, that does not mean we should hesitate to celebrate sunlight and bare knees. and do so with all of our closest friends and a slew of impressive fucking djs (DJs Simon Sez, Ella Hu$$le, Reez, and Beazy Hype) at the bushwick public house, for free, on friday night. 1288 myrtle ave, the bushwick public house- they put the lick in public(k).™
Love Muscle at the House of Yes, Bushwick.
nothing should surprise you anymore about the epic and out-there events at the house of yes. friday’s musings bring us love muscle, which of course is a dance party with massive interactive sculptures. that you can climb on. in costume or in the nude, if you so choose. it also promises psychedelia, amazing conversation, sacred geometrical lamps (you can’t tell me those aren’t rad as fuck). go to this. and be the naked one climbing the sacred geometrical lamp, ok? just promise me that. free before 11pm with rsvp or $15, tickets and info here. 11pm-4am 2 wyckoff ave. love muscle at the house of yes- where you don’t have to strong arm me! it’s always yes.
you haven’t made any moves without me, right? like, none? ok cool. because this heat is making new yorkers a littlebitcrazy. but don’t worry, i’ve made plans for you, brooklyn. and i’m going to hold your hand so that all of your moves will be good ones. (except that new dance move you’ve been doing. i can’t help you there.)
Grand Street Restaurant Week, Grand St, Williamsburg (mostly)
ah grand st! among the streets most resistant to gentrification in our pubescent neighborhood. let’s embrace it and celebrate it and do so by (i realize i’m completely eating my words here) heading to grand st restaurant week! yep! it has its own. and that’s dope because it’s going to be way cooler than that restaurant week across the pond. every single restaurant on this list is fantastic, but my top picks are le barricou (escargots! and a very french burger!) and bahia (the tilapia al sarden! and of course. i love a good flan). view menus and book your spot here. on grand between union and bushwick aves. #grandstisgrand #admititcomeon
Bad Advice from Bad Women at Word, Greenpoint.
because for all the mischief i am going to assist you in causing this weekend, we need someone else to blame. “no, i didn’t realize i couldn’t be naked here” “i thought no trespassing was a suggestion” “oh the pool is closed??!” point the finger to these 4 bad women. they speak at word books thursday night giving us all a bit of bad advice and i for one will be taking every bit of it. at word books, 126 franklin st. rsvp is encouraged. event starts at 7pm, and then we’re going streaking. bring your green hat.
Baebel Music’s Band + Brews at Industry City, Sunset Park.
if you haven’t been to industry city yet, then i really don’t know why you keep reading these weekend guides. i can’t tell you enough- this area was the new hottness, now it’s starting to cool off… so go quick. football-field sized warehouses create a community right on the water, and this event is plopped right in between two of them. with a courtyard. and food trucks. and brews. and music. and likely a killer sunset. there should be no other questions from you- go. this is why we live in brooklyn. show is free, 7-10pm. all info here, 619 2nd ave. baebel on, baby.
Kreung Cambodian Dinner at The Diamond, Greenpoint.
ah, the constantly evolving, multi-faceted brilliance of the diamond. thursday it enters into the realm of exotic small plate supper club because why the fuck not. seriously. why not. it’s cambodian, it’s khmer, it’s kreung, and its guaranteed to go oh-so-well with that rotating tap of beers you’ve never heard of… and you feel like you drink a lot of microbrews. i love the diamond. and it loves you, and if you’re reading this then you at least tolerate me so we’re just a big love ring. 43 franklin st, 6-10pm. time to get kreunnnng baby.
THE LAST Summer DJ Boombox Residency, Brooklyn Museum, Prospect Heights.
the brooklyn museum brings its summer dj series into a larger-than-life dreamscape as jasmine solano, zach witness, joe hova, and busqueloblast their tunes on tom sach’s giant boomboxes. it’s a dance party and a museum exhibition all in one, so be ambitious here at the start of your weekend. multi task and dance your ass off and pretend that work is just a figment of your imagination. (set your alarm before you arrive, k?) 6-945pm, free. 200 eastern parkway. they call me mister boombastic.
Tropical Metropolis: One Night in Bangkok, House of Yes, Bushwick.
let your spirit precede you and arrive pure of hurt and dirty of mind at this tropical paradise in bushwick. use your imagination plus whatever means available to create the exotic destination of your wildest desires. free before 11, after tickets can be purchase here. 11-4am, 2 wyckoff ave. come because- what happens in thailand, might as well happen at the fucking house of yes– where the moon is always 3/4 full.
Pancakes and Whiskey’s 3rd Birthday Bash at Rough Trade
if you haven’t heard of pancakes and whiskey then you are going about breakfast all wrong. and lunch. and dinner. and every time in between when not you’re filling your ears with really good fucking music. this poignant and prophetic music blog celebrates its third birthday at rough trade, with a show by the skins. come and let the beautiful tunes drip slowly over your body like its a stack of unleavened bread and then have a shot of whiskey. doors at 8, show’s at 9, tickets here. 64 N 9th st at rough trade- where things always go more smoothly than you think.
things we know: it’s hot. and it’s the weekend. and we pay way way too much rent to let anything get in the way of enjoying the last days of july. every time you complain about the heat, remember those things we so amicably refer to as “sleeping bag coats“. and then have a sip of rosé and get movin’.
ah, not sure how? i have an idea or two…
Brooklyn Screams for Ice Cream! Brookyn Historical Society, Brooklyn Heights.
the future and history of icecream. well, it’s either in my belly or about to be in my belly… let’s see if the brooklyn historical society can expand upon that (and knowing them, they damn well can.) come hear about icecream, see about icecream, learn about icecream, and have some too. rumor has it they will be offering hypotheses on the future of the cone, one of the only edible food containers born out of pure necessity. tickets, here. 128 pierrepoint st. i’ll stop the world and melt with you. thursday night.
Dreamcatcher Workshop at Line and Label, Greenpoint.
oh-oh dreamweaver, i believe you can get me through the niiiight by winding and twisting around me just so tightly and leaving woven into me pieces of your heart and your hopes and your dreams.
that’s my ballad about thursday night’s craft event, from the perspective of a feisty little wooden hoop. for more in this series, words as a wooden hoop. kindly find something else to read.
thursday night. brooklyn i’m trying darling Line + Label is having their FIRST and certainly not their last (i suppose pending the improvement of relative press coverage) craft event. make your own rad dream catcher and prevent those lucid aspirations from escaping ever again. plus look mega hip around new lovers and native americans. 568 manhattan ave, 5-8pm, $50 includes all materials. rsvp- email@example.com, all other info here. love me, leave me… just don’t weave me.
Drunk Science Presents: Outerspace at Littlefield, Boerum Hill.
My Very Excellent Mom Just Served Us Three Drunk Comedians Talking About Space, at this charming little event space in south brooklyn. thursday night welcomes the debauchery of drunk science as three hipsters, rather predictably, pose as experts on just about anything and try to drunkenly convince a group of people why. in this case, they try to present their best dissertation about outerspace to a panel of real scientists and astronauts and one secret alien among them. tickets, $5, available at the door. all info here. 8-930pm, 622 degraw st. just tryin’ to cop a little field. baby.
David Byrne and other heads, talking… at Good Room, Greenpoint.
and you may ask yourself- this is not my beautiful good room. this has transformed into a panel discussion by some of the most progressive movers and shakers in the music industry. and then you may go to good room to see them. and you may be equally starstruck and inspired. and you may (you may!) bring that big oversized shoulder-heavy suit out of the closet and everyone will be totally cool with it. or like, mostly cool with it. the good room hosts david byrne, ryan schreiber, matthew ogle, and emilie friedlander friday night. 730-10pm, free; all info here. let’s all go, because it’s about time we all do something good for once at good room.
Cruel Summer- 80s Dance Party at the Bell House, Gowanus.
the only thing cruel about summer is when it leaves us. so don’t let it leave us. go and revel in everything its about, 80s style- so make sure you donnasummer outfit. at the bell house. 149 7th st. and as they say- if your ears are ringing, you can find them at the bell house.™ (and you should keep better track of your ears.)
Salchipapas VI at Archetratus, Greenpoint.
archestratus is such a fantastic enigma to me, and just exactly what this neighborhood needed- without knowing it yet. at the intersection of food and stories, words and bites, poetry and digestion. that’s where you’ll find archestratus. friday’s event brings a latin american street-food tradition of meats and greets and… streets. and also storytelling and poetry and music, all curated by roy hunter. more info here, 7-10pm, 160 huron st. street meat and greet, a great state to mate!
Campfire Fridays, Riis Park.
the beach bus is nice. coney island is… well, iconic. but how do you embody the feeling of being in a beach town when you reside in the sprawling metropolis that is our city? you go to campfire fridays at riis park, you bring your own instrument or vocal chords or clapping hands and you sit and you drink and you sway and you pretend not to notice the silhouette of the skyline fading into the distance, instead only seeing the fractured moonlight skipping along the waves. every friday, hosted by texas transplant lorena leigh everything you need to know is here, 7-9pm, 16702 rockaway beach blvd. kumbayanhavabeer.
things i’m doing this weekend… that promise to include sunshine, booze, and rooftops in dangerously imbalanced proportions.
come along, then?
Bastille Day Celebrations
Dinner at L’Antagoniste, Bed Stuy.
Bastille Day Party at Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.
i did enough bastille celebrating on sunday to have been speaking fluent french and playing the accordion by nightfall (or at least, i’m pretty sure that’s how it all happened) BUT, the actual day is TODAY. francophiles and french ex-pats units together to celebrate freedom and champagne and baguettes and berets and the best place to do it, tonight, is dinner first at l’antagoniste at 10 malcolm X blvd in bed stuy- participant in french restaurant week and all things …., and then dancing the night away at baby’s all right,146 broadway in williamsburg. make a reservation here and all party info is here. choose your fête.
Ice Cream Festival, Museum of Food and Drink, Williamsburg.
i scream, you scream, we all scream because it’s a motherfucking ice cream festival at the museum of food and drink. what does that mean? who the hell cares! use your imagination! icecream sculptures, hot fudge pollack-esque tapestries, surrealist landscapes of icesream cones that are actually and metaphysically melting, plus a cafe with iceacream, straightup. (that was an example of how to use your imagination… i cannot promise thatany or all of those things will be present, but just go to this event.) tickets $20 here, 630-8pm at the museum of food and drink, 62 bayard st. i’ll stop the world and melt with you.
Humor Writing Class, Bryant Park Reading Room, Midtown Manhattan.
humor doesn’t come easy to some people. and for those people, there is help. whether you want to write your own comedic screenplay, satirical novel, or just tell better jokes- come to this free class in partnership with gotham writers’ workshop and start making people laugh. i of course will be taking the evening off from instructing. but i trust you’ll be in good hands. 7-830pm, register here, bryant park reading room at 40-42nd st.
Bottoms Up Beer and Yoga at The Well, Bushwick.
well well well, what do we have here? looking to get all twisty with some ladies (and you yourself are a lady…?) this girls pint out event welcomes all levels of drinkers and yogis. $20 gets you a class and your choice of… well, one of over 60 craft beers. but you’ll be all loopy after all of the twists and clamps and inversions so it’s kind of like you get 3 beers and a new perspective. tickets here, at the well, 272 meserole st. bend it don’t break it.
Funny, Sexy, Sad #3 at Molasses Books
a new reading series that’s like the moth, but storytellers must share something that will make you catch your breath- from laughing, crying, or well getting vaguely turned on in an audience of strangers. the art of storytelling never dies for lovers, fights, and raconteurs. find the plot here8-10pm, 770 hart st, get a hart on.
The Future is Now, a Sci-Fi Dance Party at the House of Yes, Bushwick.
dance into another dimension and feel ok, for once, about suddenly noticing everyone around you looks a bit alien-ish. take a deep breath and go with it. friday night, a sci-fi dance party of other-worldy proportions. tickets, here. 2 wyckoff ave. at the house of yes– where space travel is an affirmative, captain.
The Persistence of Nudity- A Burlesque Tribute to Salvador Dali,
his paintings are interpretive, addictive, sensual and subversive. and burlesque at the beach brings you a multi-sensory experiential tribute to his works that opens up all the corporal drawers of your subconscious to leave you breathless and misplaced, for the first time, again. friday night, 1208 beach ave, tickets $15 right here. “Take me, I am the drug. Take me, I am hallucinogenic.” – the man.
CHANCES WITH WOLVES, Baby’s All Right, Williamsburg.
if you don’t already know how i feel about these guys, then you don’t know me and you should work on your reading comprehension. the best dj duo in brooklyn, and to see them these days is a bit of a rarity. they join friends sonny & the sunsetsfriday night at baby’s all right tonight at 10pm fo’ free. which is fucking ridiculous. 641 classon ave, you miss 100% of the chances you don’t take. and 110% if wolves are involved.
things i’m doing this weekend… that very well might all be swallowed into what will be the magnetic pull of mccarren park on the first warm, sunny weekend in a while.
Music for Wing Walkers at Threes Brewing, Gowanus.
don’t act like you don’t know what a wing walker is. now that we’ve cleared that up, check out this monthly concert series showcasing both established emerging local artists under the big tent out back while drinking established and emerging brews from threes brewing. 333 douglass st, 8-10pm, $10. they put the ass in douglass. (which was so desperately necessary.)
A History of Bed Stuy by Think Olio, Berg’n, Prospect Heights.
what is Think Olio? as they put it, “we set up the best teachers in local venues to hold classes for the price of a movie ticket..” as i like to put it, a really really good use of your time; a podcast without the earbuds. a lecture series without the fearbuds (you know what i mean…) (yeah, i know, neither do i really.) a meetup with a purpose (and sometimes, a porpoise!) come learn about the rich history of one of brooklyn’s last remaining stronghold’s of anti-gentrification, here at the crux of its evolution, as told by a man who loves it and has literally seen it all. sponsored by the beloved knowledge seekers and spreaders at Think Olio. $12, 730-9pm. 899 Bergen St. i think, therefore i o.
RINSED at Good Room, Greenpoint.
i mean, their descriptions of these events always leave just enough up to the imagination to let you know that if you aren’t prepared to attack your night, teeth bared and snarling as you question the very status of your feet on the floor and (supposed) boundaries of walls and gravity and have faith only in the music in your ears and whatever friend or strangers’ eyes meet yours, then you shouldn’t go. let’s attack thursday, brooklyn. all night, at good room- my favorite place to do bad things™ free before 11pm with enrollment, 98 meserole st. rinse me baby.
Tosca presented by LoftOpera, an alternative space in Bushwick.
opera in alternative spaces. echoes in alternating chases. incredulous looks among alternative faces. these are all reasons to check out Puccini’s Tosca presented by LoftOpera, bringing you operatic works in… well, venues you wouldn’t expect. oh, and also there’s the fact that you’ve been meaning to elevate your weekend activities since the shame that greeted you with your alarm clock monday morning. $30. 8-11pm, performances march 10, 11, 12. 198 randolph st. you’ll like it better than pirates of penzance.
LuvSoul Launch Party at Art Cafe + Bar, Prospect Heights.
well, this sounds pleasant, although i can’t quite put my finger on what it is. a unification of creative minds with food, music, gaity? plus a jam sesh? and empanadas? and someone named Luis’s birthday? hm, ok! i can literally say no to none of that. 7pm-midnight, 884-886 pacific ave, $10. opposite of “no” is let’s go.
the. naked. show. The Creek and the Cave. Long Island City.
comedians performing in the buff! YES. i suppose maybe they tried too hard to imagine the audience naked and POUF! no more clothes. anyway, it doesn’t matter- get a ticket to this event. there are very very few available. get you some. after party on my roof- clothing optional, as always.1145-130am, the creek and the cave, 10-93 Jackson Avenue, $20. i’m not kidding it’s comedians performing butt-ass naked.
things i’m doing this weekend… other than not even getting close to conceding to the debilitating chill winter continues to throw at us.
The Loaded Canon Reading Series, Brooklyn Oenology, Williamsburg.
be part of the fermentation process as some of brooklyn’s best up-and-coming writers share their raw and unfinished works in progress among seasoned ears, palpable spirits, and aged wines. swirl your glass as you interpret the sediments and sentiments. it’s a message in a bottle, out of a bottle, near a bottle… you get it… and this series is the first vintage, so be a part of it. 7pm at brooklyn oenology, 209 wythe ave, free. live and uncorked.
i Love Vinyl at the Panther Room, Williamsburg.
scratch all of your well-intentioned thursday plans and head to the panther room to get a little wild. everyone’s favorite party group and dedicated vinyl-spinners (as the name suggests) bring you the best party you’re going to find to start off your weekend with bad intentions. as always, laptop free, and no cover. 74 wythe ave, at the panther room at output. 10pm until your conscious catches up to you. spin.
Miike Snow at the Warsaw, Greenpoint.
if you have tickets to this, please let me have them. please. i have some official reporting to do on the show. as compensation, i will hum a recap of the show for you over drinks at no name afterward. capesce? 261 driggs ave, 8pm. (this is where the sold-out tickets would be, if you must know.)
…ah dear loyal constituency, i have you all eating out of the palm of my outstretched hands. (right?)
BangOn NYC Sessions 001, House of YES, Bushwick.
i don’t know man. i feel like the very nature of the warehouse party includes the risk of contracting hepatitis, an overall lack of useable restrooms, relentless sweating, silent and audible camaraderie, and unspoken secrecy. granted apparently these guys have been in the “underground scene” for 75 years (wasn’t everything “underground” then? like, literally subterranean?) but their parties boast professional aerialists, fire performers, and other combinations worthy of stefon’s reporting on weekend update. and, it is being fucking broadcasted?!?! AH. i am so mad right now. anyway, i mean. sounds kinda dope. let’s just not put it in the warehouse category, let’s put it in the adult circus category. then i’m ok with it. 2 wykcoff ave, 10pm-5am. flambe me, baby. if you must.